Rose

Chapter Sixteen

New Orleans was hot!  The venue was the Superdome, a sold-out crowd and everyone was sweating their asses off.  Including the band.  But there were 75,000 people who had paid good money to see them and there were huge fans for the guys.  Seems that everyone tried getting in early, and when they couldn't, it turned into a giant party outside.

Rose was inside with Violet, making sure the stage clothes were set and ready.  The sewing room was relatively cool and Rose sat sipping on a soda.  As far as she could tell, everything was in readiness for the guys.  At four the band arrived to do sound checks.  Rose stood at the door of the sewing room and listened for a while.  They were mixing everything, stuff from their old albums, stuff from the new album, and covers that they particularly liked.

Rose sighed.  They sounded fantastic, and they were going to rock this venue.  Rose went back in and took her seat.  Violet came up and sat beside her.  "So," she said in her gravelly voice, "have you told him yet?"

"What?"

"Have you told Josh you love him yet?"

"Well, not that it's any of your business, but yes, yes I have."

Violet looked at her.  "I wouldn't say anything, because as you say it's not my business, but I think this time is different."

"Different?"

"Yeah.  I think Josh loves you too."

"He told me as much."

Violet took out a cigarette and lit it.

"He don't say that to just anybody.  Josh is of the 'once bitten, twice shy' variety.  He had a love that didn't end so well.  And there have been rumors, about him personally.  Don't listen to 'em."

"I don't."

"Good.  Now, about your other problem..."

"What problem?" 

"Jake.  How do you feel about Jake?"

Rose was surprised that she was talking to Violet about this and more surprised to find that she actually wanted too.

"I...I don't know, Violet.  I can't imagine my life without either one."

Violet nodded slowly and said, "Yeah, but how do you feel about Jake?"

Rose took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  "I love him, but in a different way than I love Josh.  It's stronger than 'brother lover', it's romantic love, but different.  Maybe it's just lust on my part."

"Jake loves you, too.  I don't know what you're gonna do, Rose, but I don't envy you the choice."  Violet put out her cigarette and stood up.  "Just be careful with your feelin's Rosie.  I told you you were gonna get hurt and I think you are, but for a change, so are those boys."

Rose sat very still.  If she left now, neither one had to get hurt badly.  They'd get over her and she would get over them.  It might take a while on her part, but she'd survive.  But, oh how her heart suddenly ached and tears came to her eyes at the thought of leaving.

Rose watched from the sidelines.  The band was phenomenal.  She was proud of her men, though technically she had nothing to do with the music.  She watched for flaws and glitches and she couldn't find any.  How could she leave?  How could she?  There had to be an answer to the conundrum she found herself in.

Jake said he loved her, but he had also told her this was the rock and roll world.  She wouldn't fit into his 'real' world, she was certain.  Josh loved her, but did he feel the same?  Did she only exist to them in this world?  She was jostled out of her thoughts and saw the band exiting the stage, but she knew there would be at least one encore, and maybe even two.