𝑅𝑜𝑐𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑|| 𝑗.ℎ

Chapter 7

Last night was a blur, all I remember is somehow making it to the bed. I really don't know-how. I sat on the cold bathroom floor and just let myself go, I let myself escape reality and I just sat there, I let those words replay in my head, they wouldn't stop. I didn't mind, I deserved them but I don't know why I seemed to matter so much, like why won't they leave.

I manage to roll out of bed and not step on or trip over any broken glass or garbage that now consumes my little floor. I don't have the energy to clean it up right now. I just want to go to school and climb back into my bed.

I won't lie, i'm not going to sit here and feel bad for myself or anything but I did deserve everything that happened last night and nights before. I've always known that. All the messed up ways of life follow in me, like a lost dog. It's been that way my whole life. It's not like I'm ever going to talk to that boy again. I'll just finish 'our' project by myself and that's that. I will never have to speak to that boy again, honestly, I never want to even see him again.

I grabbed a sweatshirt and a pair of leggings off my floor. I don't know how long they have been there, I honestly don't care. Clothes are clothes, yes if they smell bad then duh I won't wear it but anything else is acceptable.(Im guilty of doing this. I hate doing laundry I know it's bad💀). I shut the bathroom door and I just stand there, looking at myself in the mirror. The lack of sleep on my face is very noticeable and the dark, puff, eye bags under my eyes are also really bad. The four lines that are in a line down my arm are still red and they're is dried blood everywhere. They still hurt to touch but that's with any cut really. I've decided to just ignore them, yes they will be there for a long time, a really long time but there nothing I do about it, what is done is done. That's that.

I slip my hoodie over my head and I slide on the black pair of leggings. I quickly brushed miss rat nest, it's the least I could fucking do. I look like i've died.Maybe I did, I don't know.

I step out of the bathroom. I don't think I could look at myself any longer than I was. I step over the mess of my room and I make my way over to my bed and I grab my bag near the foot of the bed, along with my phone that was placed next to it.don't ask how I got there, I really don't know either. I turn around and I walk up the basement stairs, heading straight out the front door, escaping the small little house. The house i've always hated.

-

"Look who's actually late for once." Mr. smartass comments. I don't say anything and I head to the back of class, ignoring everyone's eyes one me. Something I hated but i'm use to it. Keep your head down and eyes out of everyone else's, that how you survive. I don't want to just survive, I want to live but I will take it for now. I set my binder on the desk and I sit down, blocking everyone around me and focusing on the tips of my fingers.

Around 10 minutes later, my eyes have wondered all around the room and my ears have heard nothing more than the music that was playing into them when I find my sole attention to the boy sitting diagonal from me, fiddling with his fingernails again. I don't think I have ever realized how big his hands here, and smooth. They weren't rough like most guys have them, they were smooth.

what does he have to be nervous about?

"Emilia? care to come back from la la land" a voice booms into my ears, causing jaden's head to snap backs and his eyes to meet mine for a spilt second. I bring my eyes toward the teacher standing in front of the room, biology fucking sucks ass.

a/n: this was a filler:) sorry I haven't been posting lately anywhere. I've had a rough week and I've been in my own little world. I think I officially lost everyone in the world who cared about me this week except one person due to the fact of shutting everyone out and rumors/lies. that shit hurt, a lot. makes you question life a lot and your worth. I'm not back fully yet but i'm here, alive if anyone was wondering. I'm working on a yugen post now and sorry this was short and lowkey bad. I am trying. I love you all, I hope you all are doing better than I am<3