𝑅𝑜𝑐𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑|| 𝑗.ℎ

Chapter 35

^ Some thunder and rain to listen to while reading this and this stuff helps me calm down. Just chill here for awhile till you are relaxed. I recommend putting it to a volume where it's softer.<3

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As morning rolls in, clouds fill most of the sky, illuminating grey shadows everywhere. The soft rumble of thunder has been carrying out on all night,  a thunder snow storm is making its way over to us.

This morning was a calm start to the day that hasn't even begun yet. School was canceled, so i've been staying in bed, too afraid to move as a snoring boy lays on-top of me, his head buried in the crook of my neck, breathing lightly. Due to his stance and actions, I can tell's he exhausted but I don't know from what.

Was it our arguing? Fighting? Was it a fight with Micheal? His dad? Mom? Everything could have happened but I can't figure out which one I think did. Ever since last night, he's been acting like the biggest baby around me, he won't let me within a few feet from him or he complains when I have to be. He's honestly scaring me.

This isn't Jaden. I've never seen him this dependent on someone else or this needy or tired but there's nothing I can do expect just be there.

So that's what i've been doing. Plus I couldn't sleep much last night.

My mind has been clouded with everything. From my past to the Lilly situation back to Jaden. I had a complete meltdown yesterday because someone touched me, my own best-friend touched me and I freaked out. That wasn't like me, I don't know why I even did that. He shouldn't be able to play in my mind like that, controlling everything I do most of the time.

He doesn't define who I am, he defines who I use to be and I'm surely not that person anymore. He doesn't get to control who I like or how I love. He decided what bridges he wanted to burn a long time ago, so why am I stuck here.

In a big circle.

I love Lilly as a friend don't ever get me wrong. Even if are never friends again, I will always treat her like someone who is important to me because I still care about her.  She was my best-friend. You can't just forget those.

However, that's not the problem here. The problem is everything else. The fine line, the shaking friendship, the yelling, the connection. I kissed her, I really did and I don't know how to feel about it either. I guess i'm mad at her for making my life fall apart, telling Jasmine but was it really her fault?

She was just trying to find someone to confide in the same way I confide in Jaden. It's a human nature, so how long can I be mad?

I can be upset for as long as I like, but I can't be angry for the way we handle things. We all handle them differently.

Do I consider myself bi?

I don't know. I really don't.

The soft movement below is enough to bring me back into reality. My head turns slightly so I can get. a better view of Ja's face, which is now stirring awake.

"Good-morning" I softly whisper. A inaudible mumble comes back as his has wrap around my frame tighter.  His eye slowly up after a couple minutes and the directly go to mine. His normal icey blue eyes have become dull, creating a cloud ocean. His hair is in a perfect mop onto of his head and his face is a tad pale but I can't help but smile at how he still managed to look breath taking. "How did you sleep?"

"Mhm."

"Mhm? You slept mhm?"

"Mhm." A faint smile breaks out onto his face as I laugh at him. I move my hand to his back and start moving up and down when I noticed his body tense up.

"What time is it?" He ask, inching his face slowly closer to my neck.

"7:30ish. It's going to be stormy all day so it's gonna be dark." He just nods, letting his eyes shut being brought back to the peaceful state he was in before.

We let the silence consume us. We didn't talk for about a week but it felt like forever. I frankly quite missed these mornings. Lazy drawn out mornings where we just lay in our pj's for most of the day. Talking about random things just soaking in the affection.

"Hey Ja?" I ask. A soft hmm rings through his throat while he slightly opens his eyes. "Do you want to talk about anything?"

"I wanna talk about a lot of things Em." He slightly sits up, just high enough to look at my in the eyes correctly. "There are so many things I want to share with you. I want to talk about how the stars align in the sky, how each weather makes you feel. I want to talk about our pasts more. I want to talk about what you would name you future kids, or do you even want any. I can tell you ask only because your worried, your eyes give it away. I'm okay. I just want more time. Okay?"

"Ok." Something hits me when he says he wants more time as it's not something he need time with more from something he is wishing for. It's was like he wanted something, not needed.

"Hey Em?"

"Hmm?"

"It's gonna be okay, I promise." He reaches up and pecks my nose before laying back down where he was, watching the snow slowly start fall and the faint rumbling of thunder.

"What are we going to do about yesterday?"

"What do you mean what are we going to do about yesterday?" He raises an eyebrow at me, a smirk growing on his lips. I should have never even asked the demon.

"We kissed."

"And? I don't see a problem with that."

"I- neither do I but I- nevermind forget I asked."

"No, no. Tell me."

"No. Just forget I brought it up."

"Do you want me to do again? Because I will, gladly." He ask. I can feel the redness in my cheeks and the tip of my nose. My mouth starts to move but nothing comes out.

"I'm taking that as a yes." He moves before I even have a moment to react. Pulling my waist, I tumble towards the right, landing next to him, inches away from his face. He takes his fingers and places them in between my chin, pulling us together and kissed me softly. No anger, or frustration is here expect just comfort.

"You're cute when your flustered. I really hope you understand that." He chuckles when he pulls away and takes one good take on my face. I use my hands to cover up my face from further embarrassment as he start a laughing fit, pulling me next to him and hugging the life out of me.

I hate to admit it.

I felt safe for once. Right then and there, the voice in my head seem to fade. For the first time in awhile, I didn't feel like the man who abused me wasn't in control.

It was just me.

A/N: Just a filler Chapter. I got some things up my sleeve for the next few chapters:) So I hope you enjoy them.

OH AND HOLY SHIT THANK YOU FOR 40K!!! I WAS AT LIKE 39.7K when I went to bed and I woke up and it just shot up to like 40.3! THATS ISNANE THANK YOU!

have a simple day<3