𝑅𝑜𝑐𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑|| 𝑗.ℎ

Chapter 23

THANK YOU FOR 21KKKKK

Emilia's Pov-

"Here" Jaden whispers, holding out a small cup of tea. I slowly take it out of his hand, taking a small sip, letting the hot drink slide down my sore throat, my eyes never leaving his.

I have so many questions, so many doubts. My minds has been running a mile a minutes for the past week, now, well it's insane and I can't seem to think straight but those blue eyes shining down at me, glazed with worry, is enough to stop for a minute.

Just to think about one thing. him.

I have no clue why he decided to show up. I've been nothing but an arrogant to him. I've been nothing then cold hard rotten. I feel awful.

You always realize how much you fucked up after it's too late. When your already fucked up that's when you realize how bad things have been, how much you pushed everyone away. With his blue eyes staring at me, I become guilty, or maybe I always have been.

"I-"

He cuts me off by the rise of his hands. When the back of his hand reaches my cheek, I realize I was crying.

"You look god awful." He mumbles under his breath. "and your voice sounds like a sick horse."

"Gee, thanks" I croak which causes a small smile on his face. He removes his hand, sitting down next to me, look down at my floor. It was now clean of all the glass and mess but honestly I hate it. I hate how on the outside, to a random eye I look completely and utterly fine. I look like a normal teenager but I feel far from that. It's feel like i'm living in my own world, in my thoughts.

A sea of silence washes over us but it was comfortable. Our heads spinning with thoughts, both looking at the floor. It so utterly crazy the way the human mind works, I find it plays sickening tricks on you, even if it's on your side.

It seems to pick the most damaging thoughts then puts them into play. It seems to know every move your going to make and it lets you, even it's for the worse. Our mind is our fate, so many people say we control it, and we don't. We don't know the outcome but the brain already has the next moved played, it's ahead of the game.

It's very tactical. Planning things out in a way it makes you feel like drowning, and you are. You could have as many angels in your head it wouldn't be enough to control, the demons always win. They always over power.

I haven't gotten nightmares of my father in months, the last one I got was last June, just before school let out. That's the last time that night caused me waking up in sweats. I thought it was behind me, I thought I was done suffering. It just dragged me deeper.

"What happened last night?" Jaden ask after a few minutes of dead silence. I didn't want to answer him. I just honestly want to go back under the covers and stay there. That's what i'm planning to do all winter break. Sleep my problems away.

"Emilia." His voice was soft, laced with curiosity.

"Just a bad dream. Nothing big"

"Em, you were whimpering every time I touched you. I'm not stupid. What's going on in that brain of yours?"

I shrug, slowly dismissing the topic in general. I really didn't want to talk with anyone. My mind is still wrapped around my thoughts and what the hell i've started.

I've created a monster of a storm.

The sad thing though is, I am the storm.

"The only problem I have is, and was, me. I've caused damage where ever I go. To my family to my best-friend and I don't understand any of it. Not a single thing. I just want everything to stop, slow down. I just want to be let out of this hole." I let out a sign before looking at Jaden.

"What?" I ask. His eyes held a certain question of a mix between seniority and questioning. I was utterly confused.

He shakes his head, "Nothing."  We fall into another sea of silence, it was like both of us were almost scared of the unthinkable. I don't what he had to be afraid of though. He seems fine.

"Come on" I feel a soft tug at my hands, causing my eyes to direct up towards him. "I wanna show you something."

a/n: hmmm. do I utterly and most certainly hate this, yes. My words seemed rumbled lately like I can't pick what style I wanna write in so it's a mix of the two. I'm sorry for that. Also, my dearest apologies for not posting. I have a lot on my mind lately and school is going to murder me:) (i'm not joking). Anyways, I promise promise promise that the next two episodes will be why emilia did what emilia did and what happened to her family and past. Once that revealed, I think it's smooth sailing from there.....

or I hope.

:) *cue the evil music*