𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 16

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"The park down Aim, 6 o'clock?"

My eyes re-read over the message. It's almost 5 o'clock and I just woke up from a very well needed nap. Before I get a chance to respond, another message pops up.

"You can't ignore me forever sugar"

What a fucking ass. Ignoring his message, I respond to Lily's message, slowly getting out of my bed.

I didn't know how the rest of my night was going to play out, but I was over the moon.

-

I look around the small part of the sidewalk that leads to the main roads. We agreed to meet in this spot just because it was easier for both of us. It was a hidden little area of this park but it's something that I always found interesting.

A small white gazebo sits right off the corner, with a overgrown ivy growing up the sides giving it that natural vibe. Shadows casted all over the of the small space of grass and pond: small peaks of sun spots trickling thru the gaps in the trees. Ducks waddled around the pond consuming part of grass and what i'm assuming the bugs that crawl around here. A old swing set sits near the shoreline, right under a small drop-off.

This part of the small park was abandoned of course and not many people knew of it due to the fact the main portion was a block or so down. Me and my family use to come down here and have a little get away from the world. The only thing I wish it had was people I could call my family here like I could remember. Now this place has turned into this place where I come to calm down, reevaluate my life or the shit that's happened. I also stop by every week or so to feed the ducks and from time to time to read a book so when Lily suggested we meet here, I was all aboard, and a little surprised.

This was my second home, it holds a lot of memories.

I was brought away from my thoughts a few moments later when I see her creep around the corner. She was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and an old vintage tee-shirt. Her hair waving in the wind and she looked cute. Her outfit was cute.

"Hi" she sends a wave over my way and I kindly return one. She joins me on the bench.

As time trickles down, and the sun starts to set we just manage to talk about the most random-ist things.

I've managed to learn she came here from a small town in Michigan; right near the border and lake erie. She filled me in about her childhood and her dad getting a new job for a new teaching position in the school a few districts from West-Ward. She was nothing more than your average girl. Parents together, an older brother, financial support, she was happy.

I didn't share much, just little things here or there that seemed to keep her satisfied. She never did once question on how I changed the subject when she asked about my family and childhood or didn't point out my nervous hands when she asked about siblings.

I think that's when I knew, I think I made a new friend. There was something about her. I couldn't tell if it was the way she was so understanding or the way her smile seemed so genuine. No matter how many rumors or how gorgeous she is, she doesn't let them get to her and she just lives her life.

and that's something I envy.

"Have you had any boyfriend before?" she asked. I let out the ugliest laugh in human history which causes her to start giggling. We were laying in the grass watching the stars slowly appear thru the trees.

Once our laughter dies down, I answer her question. "No. I've never dated anybody unless you count my 5 minutes boyfriend in 1st grade"

"No, really?"

I nod. "What about you?"

"I've been around before I guess." She pauses, almost like she is recalling a memory. "I've had a few girlfriends too. Have you ever been in love before?"

My eyes grow wide before quickly recovering. I didn't know she was Bi.

"How am I supposed to love someone I've never dated?"

"Simple. I've loved a person that I never dated."

I shake my head at her question before we fall back into a sea of silence, both of us in our own thoughts, only I think hers were more pretty than mine.

Have I ever loved someone? No. it's impossible.

It's not that I don't believe in love, I do. I just don't believe in love for me. Yes, i've always wanted someone who is willing to support me thru my life or be there to cry on but at a very young age, I knew I was incapable of loving another human being: people were incapable to love me. Over the many years alone and scared, i've accepted this with open arms. I didn't need anyone, all I needed was myself.

Sometimes that's all I can count on. We all don't have the glory of being able to fall on someone's shoulder. Some of us have to accept it, i've accepted.

"You wanna know what I think?" she suddenly ask. I stay silent, waiting for her to continue.

"I think everyone has that one person they love that they can't be with. I think, if we are given the option, most people would choose to love another human being. The ones who don't just need to find the magic."

Her head turns to me and a bright smile clouds her hooded eyes. I give her a tight smile back but I couldn't help but think,

Some people aren't meant to find the magic, and i'm one of those people.




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a/n: thoughts? idk about this but here are more Lily and Emilia contact? I think it will be a good start to a good friendship in the future.

Who is your character? I'm honestly curious. I think I would say Em due to the fact I relate a lot in someway, half the shit she says hits home.

Also, how many times did I use "i've" in this because I feel like I used it a ton💀

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