Chapter XIV- Why so cold?

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Mina

Medical results in hand, I'm now riding a bus to the company's location. Honestly, I'm still so nervous regarding this employment.

I took my phone from my bag and sent a message to Chaeyoung.

Me:
Babe, I'm on my way to pass my requirements now

I put my phone back and enjoyed the cool breeze while I try to calm myself.

Fast Forward

2pm

After passing the requirements I received a text from my best friend, Lisa. An old friend since high school.

Lisa:
Mina~ it's my sister's birthday. Come for dinner, okay?
See u~

Me:
Okay, I'll be there~

Lisa was a great friend of mine. One of my best friends in that matter. I remembered how I admired her before. Before I met Chaeyoung I had this huge crush on her. I also told Chaeyoung about it and I think she don't like hearing these kind of things. (Maybe jealous xD)

Speaking of it, I should probably tell Chaeng about this.

I took my phone and opened my conversation with Chaeyoung.

It's 2 pm but still she hasn't replied to my message earlier.

She doesn't have a class until three though.
I wonder what she's doing right now?

I tried calling her but she won't pick up. After several attempt, I already gave up. I just went to Lisa's place.

"Hey, I'm glad you came." Lisa said and hugged me. "Yeah, got nothing to do anyways." I said and smiled. "Let's go eat inside." She then dragged me to the kitchen where her parents and sister was. I said my greetings and ate. Soon after, I went out a bit to take in some fresh air. I texted Chaeyoung I'm at Lisa's place then she replied "have fun." That's it.

"What is wrong with you? Why are you being cold?" I texted back. "Nothing, just tired from work. I'm gonna go to bed in a bit." She replied. "But it's 7pm. It's still early." I texted her. "Let's just talk tomorrow, I'm really tired." By that I stopped texting her and told Lisa I will go home since I was tired.

"You want me to go send you off, unnie?" She asked but I shook my head. "It's fine, Lisa. It's just near. I'll just walk." She then nodded her head. "Okay, unnie." By that I started walking out but she stopped me. "If there's something wrong, you can talk to me, unnie." She said and I just smiled at her.

As I was walking, my mind was full of thoughts about Chaeyoung and I'd relationship. Deep inside me I know there is something wrong but I can't find a courage to ask her. I'm too scared to know her answer. I wanted to cry, I can feel the distance in her messages. I do t know anymore. I'm overthinking things and I'm afraid this will be true.

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After several days, me and Chaeyoung don't have talks like the usual. Whenever I say I love her she replies fast like it was just a prepared reply. Her messages are short and cold. I've been crying in silence every night as I go to bed for this was very familiar to me. I keep hoping it won't but it felt like we're coming to an end.

It was seven in the evening when I texted her asking if she's going home from work. She said she's been home since five. I wanted to be angry because she didn't even bothered to give me a text. If I hadn't texted her first she won't message me and that made me frustrated.

Soon after, she told me we needed to talk. Reading that, my whole body tensed up. "This felt like a de ja vu" I told myself.

Chaeyoung:
We need to talk.

Me:
Talk about what?

Chaeyoung:
There is something I need to tell you.

Me:
What is it?

Chaeyoung:
These past few days, you know how distant I have been, right?

Me:
Yeah

Chaeyoung:
I'm sorry, Mina. I feel guilty that I can even talk to you for long

Me:
What do you mean?

Chaeyoung:
I want to tell you the truth. So I won't keep on hurting you like this.

Me:
Is there someone else already?

Chaeyoung:
I'm sorry, Mina. I grew fond of her. I think I like her.

Me:
Can we atleast discuss this in a call?

Chaeyoung:
No, don't call. I'm sorry Mina. But let's just break up. You can hate me or block me if you want. I deserve it.

Me:
Why are you doing this to me?
You said you won't hurt me.

Chaeyoung:
I'm sorry, Mina. That's why I'm telling you this, so I won't keep on hurting you.

Me:
So, are you gonna be with her?

Chaeyoung:
No, I might court her.

Me:
Lucky her. But I don't want to break up, Chaeng. I really love you.

Chaeyoung:
Don't be like that, Mina. You still want to be with me even after what I did? I don't deserve that. You're too precious to settle for that. I really don't want to lose you, Mina. I still want you to be my friend.

Me:
If that's what you want, then. I'll be your best friend.

Chaeyoung:
Really? Thank you, Mina.

Me:
But promise me no more cold messages.

Chaeyoung:
I promise. Thank you for taking this lightly, Mina.

Chaeyoung:
Maybe because we haven't met so the feeling isn't that deep. I think it will be a right choice to be just friends.

Me:
Yeah maybe you're right. Chaeng?

Chaeyoung:
What is it, Mina?

Me:
Can I say it one last time?

Chaeyoung:
Okay

Me:
I love you, baby.

Chaeyoung:
Thank you, Mina

Reading that hurts a lot. I tried hard to still be in her life but deep inside I'm hurting a lot. Why can't I make anyone stay? Am I that ugly for them to find someone? Am I that boring? I guess I'm just not for relationships.

Reading those last messages made me realize how pathetic I am. How stupid I am to be begging for someone to stay. I tried to compose myself for her to not know how miserable I am in this room. I'm pathetic

End of Mina's POV

For hours after the talk, Mina cried silently in her room. Not making any sound so that her parents won't be alarmed. She cried and cried as she thought of things she did wrong. She started feeling insecure. She pictured how Chaeyoung and that girl talk for hours instead of her and it's making her more emotional. "What can I do? She's there while I'm miles away. Of course, she'd want someone who she can see. How stupid of me to think this will work. How stupid of me to think she loved me just like how I love her."

"In the end, she just left me. I should've known."

She cried for hours, her pillows are the only witness of her broken heart.

"It's okay, we're used to this thing, right?" She said as if talking to her heart and clenched it further. Feeling the pain physically is much tolerable.

"Congrats, self. You just got dump twice."

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A/n: why am I crying while I'm making this? huhu. It's 15 min. Before midnight and this update popped in my head.

P.s. I just wrote anything in my mind right now, so, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or any confusion in it.

Anyone still awake??



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