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Chapter VIII- Say It

Exam's within a month. I am supposed to be concentrating by now but my head is full of thoughts about Chaeyoung. She's been running in my head almost all the time and it's crazy. To think that I haven't met her yet and I'm feeling all this weird stuffs makes me lose my mind.

"Hey, Mina. The girls want to grab some ice cream down the street. Wanna come?"

"I don't feel like having one for now, Ji. You guys go ahead." As Jihyo closed the door, I went back to lying in bed. Staring at the ceiling still thinking of Chaeyoung. Well, thinking of how I'll tell her about this weird stuff happening in me.

After a while of contemplating, I grabbed my phone clicked her name and composed a message.

Me:
Hey, I need to tell you something...

Chaeyoung:
Hi, there. What is it?
You sound so serious
Everything alright?

Me:
Honestly, I dont know already, Chaeng.

Chaeyoung:
What do you mean by that, Minari?

Looking at her reply, I almost wanted to back out and tell her it's nothing but if I did then I won't ever have the courage to say this again. Well, not until boards are over.

Me:
I really want to just.. get this out my head coz I might burst if I don't. So uhh I just want to be honest with you, Chaeng.

Chaeyoung:
What it is, Mina?

Me:
I know we just knew each other and uhh I know it's too early to say this but I think I... kinda have feelings for you already, Chaeng...

Chaeyoung:
Oh...

That's it. I think I fucked this up. Great job, Mina

Chaeyoung:
I will admit you are special to me too, Mina but I'm still scared to get into a relationship for now. I mean, what we have now is amazing and I enjoy your company but we still can't ignore the fact that we're still strangers...

Me:
I understand your point. But... You don't feel like a stranger to me anymore. I somehow trust you already.

Me:
I know you might think I'm weird for falling for you over this but I hope you give me a chance to prove myself. Its just that I want to be part of your world. To be able to care for you...

Chaeyoung:
I appreciate that, Mina. You're already a big part of my life. You make me smile and you listen to all my rants. Mina, you're a great friend. I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you but for now that's just the only thing I can give you. I'm still scared...

Me:
I understand, Chaeng.
Sorry if I made things awkward between us.

Chaeyoung:
It's alright, Mina. I'm glad you're being honest with me. And I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I will accept it if you wanted to cut ties with me already

Me:
What? No it's not that. I won't. We can still be friends, right?

Chaeyoung:
But I hurt you and if you keep talking to me I will just keep on hurting you.

Me:
But it'll hurt me more if you disappear just like that, Chaeng.

Chaeyoung:
...

Chaeyoung:
Alright, Minari...

Stupid, I shouldn't have said those things. She's clearly not over her ex yet.

I don't know what to say anymore.

I totally screwed up by saying that thing..

It hurts but it's my fault..

There's no one to blame but myself.

Tears started pouring on my face as reality hit me. I can't force her to like me when she still loves her ex. A person whom she was in love with. A person whom she gave her all to. A person who's not a stranger in her eyes. I can't compete with the memories she shared with her.

I can't compete with her first love.

I already lost before I even started...

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A/n: let's spice things up, shall we? 😉