Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories (Rewrite)

Chapter 25: Nice Package

Vic made it to Little Havana and finally saw a pink single-story house with a red awning over the porch and a Cuban Hermes parked in the driveway. Vic casually walked over to the house and made it to the front door, knocking in the process.

"Come in!" he heard a man with a gruff tone of voice shout from inside.

So Vic opened the door to find a Cuban-American middle-aged man with shoulder-length black hair and matching thick mustache wearing a gray vest over black slim-fitted pants with a skull-designed belt buckle supporting them sitting on an armchair in the living room. He must have been Umberto.

The living room had red brick layers inside, as well as a pool table, jukebox on the corner, and cabinets. There was also a swordfish mounted on the wall behind the middle-aged man, as well as a poster with a Hispanic man in a blue suit in front and read "Los Santos Pop" printed on the bottom.

"Hey, you Umberto?" Vic asked the middle-aged man.

"Did somebody order a stripper?" Umberto asked facetiously.

"Excuse me?" Vic asked.

"Because I like my bitches a bit less balding," Umberto blurted bluntly.

"What?" Vic asked. He pulled out his pistol and pointed it at Umberto's face.

"Are you a comedian, friend?" he asked the Cuban-American man. "Hmmm?"

Umberto just laughed it off. "No, no..." Umberto replied. "I'm a man, just like you."

"Uh-huh..." Vic replied.

Umberto slowly shoved the pistol's barrel out of his face. "Umberto Robina," he greeted, slowly pulling himself out of his seat. "You must be Vance."

"Yeah, that's right," Vic replied. "So you heard about Marty?"

"Yeah," Umberto answered with a chortle. "I heard about that dumb punk. Came to an unfortunate end, huh? Bitch fight! I like that, huh? Two bitches going at it, hot and sweaty... Bang, bang, bang!"

He made shooting gestures as if he was using machine guns while chuckling loudly. "Yeah, whatever you're into, man," Vic replied dryly.

"Hey, I'm into men!" Umberto told him, getting into his face. "Men proving themselves!"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sounds fun," Vic replied, uninterested. "Look, you worked for Marty for years. So in between men, can I rely on you?"

"Sure, pappy," Umberto answered. "If you can prove to me you got some balls!"

Vic just stared back at Umberto. It was a bit difficult to take him seriously at this point due to how flippant he was being. But he decided to just roll with it and let his actions do the talking. So he agreed begrudgingly.

Vic then walked outside with Umberto, who guided him to his Cuban Hermes, a vehicle with the flames designed on the front.

"I've got a package waiting for collection Downtown," Umberto informed. "Go get it for me, if you can."

Package? Vic thought. What that a deliberate pun?

"I'm not your delivery man, friend," Vic told Umberto.

"Until I know you got some balls, there'll be no alliance between us," Umberto replied. "Juan will go with you. He'll tell me if you've got something down there."

Jesus, what is it with this guy and his obsession with genitalia puns?! Vic thought.

Vic saw that Juan was a Cuban-American man wearing a green shirt over faded jeans. Vic didn't continue to argue. He just hopped inside the vehicle, started the engine, and rode off onto the road. Umberto had also reminded Vic that he wasn't the only one picking up the package. So he had to watch his back. Vic drove through Little Havana and made a left turn on the long, straight road up ahead. He drove straight and rode as fast as he could, making sure he got the package from Downtown first.

As Vic made it Downtown, he saw that there was another Cuban Hermes riding up ahead. They were speeding as fast as they could to go after the package themselves. Soon, it was a drive-off, and another Cuban Hermes drove up to join the speeding chaos. Vic drove around the two vehicles and made it to the other end of the road, where he found a package right by the Ammu-nation at the end of the road.

Vic then parked the vehicle in front of the store and picked up the package. "Muy bien, Victor!" Juan called from inside the vehicle. "Vaminos! Let's get back to Umberto's before the others try to steal the package from us!"

Vic had no idea why Umberto needed the package, but he didn't have time to question it. He quickly hopped inside the Cuban Hermes and stomped on the gas pedal, ignoring the other two vehicles chasing after him and Juan. He sped straight down the road and saw that not only were the members in the other two Cuban Hermes chasing after them, but also the police. Vic decided to speed straight down the road and drove faster until he finally made it to the Paint 'n' Spray shop right at the right side of the street.

Vic drove into the garage of the shop and got a new respray, losing the cops and the other two vehicles chasing after him for the package. Vic then pulled out of the garage and drove all the way down the long road. Vic drove as fast as he could until he met Umberto all the way at the docks in Viceport. The latter was sitting inside a red Voodoo.

Vic and Juan hopped out of the vehicle and walked up to Umberto. "Gracias, Vic!" Umberto thanked with a chuckle as he received the package from Vic. "I kiss you!"

"Whoa!" Vic responded, holding his hands back. "Not today."

Umberto just laughed. "I'm just playing with you, Vic," he told him. "Come on Juan. We got some more negocio to take care of."

Vic watched as Juan hopped into the Voodoo with Umberto as the latter drove away. Vic decided that it was time for him to build more empire buildings. So he exited the docks and searched around the city to see what empires needed to be complete.