White Rose

Chapter 18: Jane's POV

A/N: I love you guys so much!! I wasn't planning on updating today but I hit 920 reads overnight! You are all amazing!

Fun fact: This ch features Abbott being our shipper king!

~*~

"Don't call me again Teresa, I love you."

"I love yo..." I hung up the phone. If she finished that phrase I'd go back to her. I couldn't do that. Not now. Not until Red John was dead, once and for all.

I knew I was hurting her, but it was better than the alternative, which was Red John hurting her. I knew she was probably sitting on my couch crying, cursing me for being such a selfish asshole. I wanted to be there with her, to hold her while she cried, to kiss her and tell her everything would be alright. Instead, I drove to the FBI and flopped down on my couch. Lisbon wouldn't show up here. She was on leave and she had Annie.

"Hey Jane," Abbott's voice bellowed, "how's Lisbon doing?"

"Better than I did." I lied, "Did you find anything at the warehouse?"

"Uhm yeah." Abbot stuttered, clasping his hands in front of his body, "Let's go to my office."

~*~*~

I sat down in the raggedy blue chair in front of Abbott's desk as he closed the door.

"Not good, huh?" I said, a headache starting to form above my eyes.

"We found him." Abbott sits down, "But there's a bit of a hitch, he doesn't remember Teresa or Annie and he thinks you're the one that took him."

I placed a hand on my forehead and started massaging my temples.

"Dennis she got another call last night." His eyes fixed on me, intrigued, "Her brother James was taken too."

"Jesus, Jane." He sighed, "What the hell are we gonna do?"

"Well," I said, continuing to massage my temples, "I'm gonna go find Red John."

"Jane. You are not to be anywhere other than your apartment or this building until further notice. Do you understand me? You go out there and get yourself killed, she'll be in even worse shape. Go. Take care of her."

"About that," I respond, standing up and turning to leave, "I left Dennis. I left her there to fend for herself. The fewer connections she has with me, the better. I can't risk her getting hurt. She's been through enough as it is. She doesn't need my help."

"She loves you." He says as I open the door, "And you love her. Don't ruin it Jane. You two have got something special."

"I know."

~*~*~

I walked through the bullpen and pressed the call button for the elevator. I stood, rocking back and forth on my heels and twiddling my thumbs. I was nervous and scared and angry, along with so many other emotions I couldn't name.

Ding! The elevator rang and the doors opened.

"It's fine Annie, he's safe and he'll come back."

They stepped out of the elevator and my eyes locked with Teresa's. Shit.

"Jane." She whispered, her voice almost inaudible.

"I'm sorry." I said, quickly brushing past her and boarding the elevator.

"Patrick wait!" She called as the doors closed, her voice full of sadness.

It's what had to be done. I wasn't happy about it. I pressed the button for the ground floor and waited for the elevator to lurch downward. The doors opened once again with a ding! and when I stepped out, I felt a warm hand grab my wrist.

"Patrick please don't leave."

"I don't have a choice Teresa. I will find him and I will kill him. That's the only choice I have."

"No, it's not." She argued, pulling me to the side, "You could stay. You could help me the way you always do. You could man up but instead you are choosing to be a coward."

"Trust me. I love you." I leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to her lips.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Jane!" She hissed and pulled away from me, "This," she waved her hands at me, "is not how you treat someone you love. Go to hell." She spat, slapping me hard across the cheek before storming back up the stairs.