He was thinking how to said it .He knew it would not be easy but these letter was becoming so hard to write that his heart uncontroled beat and his anxious breaths wouldn't let him think straight.
"Dear cassie-I mean Cass I have been doing quiTE great-even with the regular guard on my feet ,even with the memories of dad and that horrible day-what I meant to say is that I am gonna be alright and it wil be because- because I care about you so much. I like you ,Cassie.You are my light in these dark times and I hope I could be yours someday."
He finished his letter after million of corrections hoping Cassie will be at least be calm to know he was not going back to the dark side, that he was doing better and all because of her.That sure will cheer her up is she is feeling homesick or with sorrow.
He went to sleep just that this time with a small smile of happines and peace. Tomorrow a big day will be taking place.
-------------------------------------------------------------
The light came into view early on the morning and greeted a desesperate and hopeful alchemist. He was feeling extremely anxious and excited combined in a feeling full of adrenaline. He could't wait to see the queen and give her the letter so she could mail it to the gang-to Cassie.He
was ready as he could be-'that is past, Varian, let it go if you want to be free.'
When he was starting to get flashbacks of the past, Queen Arianna came into the room and sensing his worrisome give him a short hug and a smile of reasurance.
"Thank you, Queen Arianna .You really didn't have to do that"
"You were having a panick attack, my child. Of course I would help you"
"But you don't have-"
"But I want to, Varian.What you did then was wrong but that doesn't take off the fact that you are still a chil-I mean a teenager who is learning about the world and I believe you already understood the lesson .Hadn't you?"
"I suppose so"
"Then why torture yourself with past mistakes. Past is past, what matters is what you learnt from it and use for a brighter future"
"Thanks for the advice, Queen Arianna"
"You are welcome, dearie.Talking about something more confortable,have
you finnished your letter"
"Yeah I had mo-I mean Queen Arianna"- he said with excitement and embarassment.
"Is ok my child -could you give me it, dearie?"
"Yes and thanks for not getting mad about calling you like that"
"You are absolutely welcome. I just know how much I have to wait to hear those words"
"I could just imagine" -said Varian with a little smile in his face.
"Well time to send this letters to the mail and hope for the best."
"Yes ,mom, hope for the best" -he said while seeing the kind queen go with a calm and gracious step.
He really hope that best.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A couple of weeks later
No .What she was reading couldn't be true, but it was. He was telling her how much he loved and cared for her, this was so much relief and anguish to hold. Don't misinterpreted her, she was gratefull for the kind words but this just made her realize that her needing for love was becoming a lot more to control. she couldn't rely on him righ now. Could she?
YOU ARE READING
There was nothing left to lose
Fanfiction"There was really something there before and after all mistakes were made or it was just a crush to let go someday." Varian keep wondering in his mind (First anniversary adittion ) Cassandra doesn't know how to feel ...her life was going alright..sh...
