When Everything Falls (De Chaves #1)

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FOUR

The solemnity that silence the whole room rose as it was filled with faint darkness, only the silver glow that poured through the window stood to fight over the complete blindness. The cooing melancholy tried to crack the wall of conformity that was established to people who are like me.

Napatingin ako sa damit na binigay ni papa sa akin. The tea-length dress is embellished with lake birds embroidery over nude tulle. The corset bodice looks feminine and elegant. Ito sana ang susuotin ko sa event ngayong gabi ngunit hindi nalang ako dadalo. Baka mapahiya pa si Papa dahil sa presensya ko.

Lilith was right. I, as his bastard, will never fit into the world Lilith lives. We are two different people with two different worlds. We are sisters but we speaks different language.

Napatingin ako sa sarili kong repleksyon sa salamin. I was the perfect embodiment of the infidelity my Father committed years ago. I was the living proof of his mistake. Pag nakikita ako ng mga taong alam ang nangyari, all they will think is that I am the shameful fruit of a mistake— a symbol of mistake that brought to life to torture and remind my Father.

Isang katok ang nagpagising sa akin. The rapid wallops against my door pulled me out of my trance. Agad akong tumayo at naglakad palapit. When I opened the door, the face of my Mother welcomed me. Kumunot ang kaniyang noo, mistulang gulat sa anong itsura ko ngayon.

"Bakit hindi ka pa nakapagpalit? Nagtext si Roberto. Tinatanong kung nakapag-ayos ka na para ipasundo ka na." Aniya, halatang excited.

"I'm not going,"

Nalaglag ang kaniyang panga dahil sa sinabi ko, "At bakit hindi?"

I shrugged, "Hindi ako nababagay doon,"

"Anong hindi nababagay? Anak ka ni Roberto! Dapat ay naroon ka!"

Napatingin ako sa aking ina, "Why do you keep in shoving me to his life? Are you still after his wealth?"

Nakita ko ang pagdaan ng sakit sa mga mata ng aking ina, "Anong pinagsasabi mo, Cornelia?! Gusto kong pumunta ka at wala akong pake sa pera ni Roberto! Pumunta ka kasi iyon ang gusto niya at dahil anak ka niya! Karapatan mo iyon—"

"Ma! Hindi iyon madali! Magpapakita ako doon? Para ano? Para may masabing hindi maganda ang mga tao patungkol kay papa? Na ako ang anak niya sa labas? Na inimbitahan pa niya talaga ang bastardo niya sa event na iyon?" Ang sakit ay dumaloy sa aking kaibuturan.

Halos magbara ang lalamunan ko dahil doon. Mahal ko si papa, gusto ko siyang makasama gaya ng nararanasan ngayon ni Lilith pero hindi pwede. Dahil isa lang akong anak sa labas— bastardo at hindi kailan man matatanggap.

Naaalala ko pa noon. When I was a kid, I always asked my mother why my father was not present every family day in our school. Naiingit ako sa mga kaklase kong may mga ama. Hindi ko iyon nasabi kay mama, na naiinggit ako ngunit pakiramdam ko ay ramdam niya. Sa buong buhay ko, ang aking sarili mismo ang umaalo sa aking pag umiiyak ako sa kawalan ng ama sa aking buhay.

"Anak, matagal na iyong tapos. Si Roberto mismo ang may gustong pumunta ka doon kaya dapat ay pumunta ka. Sa tingin mo iimbitahan ka niya kung ikinahihiya ka niya?" My mother said while caressing my cheek.

I shook my head, "Hindi ako pwede doon. Kahit kailan."

Magagalit ulit si Lilith sa akin. Ayoko iyong mangyari.

"Kung ayaw mong pumunta, ikaw ang bahala, anak. Ngunit h'wag na h'wag mong isiping hindi ka nararapat sa buhay ng iyong ama. Nakita ko, Cornelia. Kitang kita ko kung gaano kasaya si Roberto nang isinilang kita. Alam ko... alam kong hindi ka kailanman ikakahiya ng iyong ama. Importante ito sa kanya at sana pumunta ka." Pagkatapos niya iyong sabihin ay iniwan na niya ako.

Naiwan akong tulala. Hindi alam ang gagawin. I can't deny the fact that my Father is always good to me. Hindi ko man siya palaging nakakasama dahil may iba siyang pamilya, alam kong mahal niya ako. Ngunit paano ko ihaharap ang sarili ko sa mga taong nasa mundo niya? I cannot even face his wife because of awe and guilt that kept on surging throughout all my senses.

Pupunta ba ako? Gusto ko pero ayaw kong magalit na naman si Lilith. Siguro naman okay lang naman na pumunta kahit saglit lang. Magpapakita lang ako kay papa at pagkatapos no'n ay aalis na ako. I won't stay long, I'd just want to congratulate him for his milestone in life.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago nagpasyang maligo at magbihis. I wore the dress he brought for me. Pagkatapos kong maisuot ay may kumatok ulit sa aking pinto. The door swung open and the face of my mother showed up. She was holding her makeup kit.

"Gusto mo ng tulong?" She asked and smiled.

I nodded. Mas lalong lumawak ang kanyang ngisi at lumapit na sa akin. Umupo ako sa aking kama at hinayaan siyang ayosan ang mukha at ang buhok ko. Napatingin ako sa aking ina na abala ngayon sa aking mukha. She was seriously putting make up on my face while I was pondering the things she has done for me.

After that, she ushered me to the mirror and let me see my face. It's a light makeup put on my face while my hair is twisted in messy bun updo. Some wisps of my hair dangled on my forehead as they made into classy curls.

"Ang ganda mo, anak..." Mama said and smiled.

"Magpapakita lang po ako kay Papa at pagkatapos no'n ay aalis na. Wala akong balak magtagal doon."

She nodded, "Kung iyang ang gusto mo." Huminga siya ng malalim, "Nasabi ko sa papa mo kanina na hindi ka makakapunta kaya hindi na natuloy 'yung susundo sa 'yo. Mabuti at gising pa si Mariposa at kami nalang ang maghahatid sa 'yo."

A grandiose hotel stood amid the city proper. Light coming from the hotel's entrance speaks extreme elegance as the moon bathed its own mystifying silver glow to the vicinity. Once I stepped out of the car, the frigid touch of the wind crawled throughout my exposed skin as the glaring feeling of anxiousness jolted within me.

Ang mga taong naglalakad papason ay kilala sa lungsod ng La Union. Government officials are also present in this event as they give honor to my Father's legacy. My father is on his early 50s but the mark he left to the corporate world is beyond word. Maging ang mga taga Maynila na mga kasososyo niya ay dumalo sa pagtitipong ito.

Naglakad ako papasok. The enormous number of media personnel lurked around the entrance of the Hotel. Sa paglalakad ko palang papasok ay nakita ko na ang mga nagtatanong na mga mata ng mga taong naroroon. I sucked an air to breathe as I left the electrifying chills that surged from my feet to my whole body.

"Name po?" The guard asked, looking at the list of attendees.

"Cornelia Everleigh Gomez," sagot ko at hinintay siyang hanapin ang pangalan ko.

When he spots my name, he highlighted it and let me walk in. The expensively made room welcomed my eyes once I entered. Ang ibang ibang palamuti na halatang pinaghandaan at pinag isipan ay nakasabit doon. The overwhelming crystalized chandelier adorned at the center of the venue sent a heat of unyielding amusement in me. Halos malula ako sa nakikita ko.

I was late, I knew it. My Father is already in the stage talking. He's smiling but there is something missing through the glint of his eyes.

Pinanuod ko lang ang aking amang nagsasalita. All attendees of this event are attentive and very focused to every work my Father has to utter. Napangiti ako habang tinitignan siya. Huminga ako ng malalim at naglakad patungo sa gilid. I don't want to get some attention since my plan is only to see my Father.

"I would like to ask my wife and my daughter to go up here with me." My father laughed, "I wish I have my other daughter here with us."

Parang pinipiga ang puso ko. Tumayo si Tita Ester at Lilith. They made their way to the stage where my Father stands. Nagpalakpakan ang mga tao habang ako ay mapait na nakangiti sa kanila. Pinilit kong aluin ang sarili ko at ibigay sa kanila ang nararapat na pagpupugay.

Trying my best not to cry, I wandered my eyes around the venue. Inabala ko nalang ang aking sarili sa mga nakakamanghang palamuti sa paligid. However, my eyes caught a very unexpected person in this event. My eyes parsed his manly physique.

Bellamy is breathtakingly dashing with his two piece of an expensively tailored three-pieace suit. His hair was perfectly styled in a tantalizing hairdo that suits for this formal event. Kitang kita ko kung paano niya maagaw ang atensyon ng mga babaeng naroroon.

When Bellamy stood up, my eyes are all fixated on him. Sa pagharap niya sa parte kung nasaan ako ay mas lalo kong nakita ang kanyang mukha. His menacing aura sent shiver down my spine. I knew that he has this vibe but I don't imagine him giving it off in this formal event. Sa ilang araw na nakakasalamuha ko siya ay ang pilyo niyang pagkatao ang lagi kong nakikita.

He looks too good with that vibe he's giving off.

Nagulat ako ng magtama ang aming mga mata. The shock on his face mirrored mine as he lunged to my part. Kumunot ang noo ko at hindi malaman ang gagawin. I said I shouldn't get attention but I guess I caught his!

The glint of amusement flickered on his eyes as he grazed his eyed from my head to toe and back to my face. He sensually licked his lower lip as he settled his eyes on mine.

"You're here..." He drawled, "and you look so... wow!"

I rolled my eyes. He chuckled and moved closer to me.

"Your Father thought you're not around." He said, looking at me with a distinctive seriousness in his eyes.

Nagulat ako doon. Saan niya nalaman na anak ako ni Papa? Oh! I forgot, Lilith said it to him, huh?

"I'll show up later. I just don't want others to see me here. Well, I failed because you saw me."

He smirked sexily, "Thankfully, I saw you."

Nakatingin pa rin siya sa akin. Ang kanyang mga mata ay hindi iniiwan ang aking mukha na mistulang kinakabisado niya bawat kurba nito. Ako naman ay hindi ko magawang titigan siya. I am trying my best to avert my attention from his immaculately perfect face!

"Why don't you just go back to your table?" I asked, looking at the table where he came from.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "I don't want to especially you look so lonely here. I'll provide you company."

Napatingin ako sa kaniya. Ang kanyang mga mata ay mariin paring nakatingin sa akin. Pinilit kong iniwas ang tingin. I tried to watch my Father together with his family talks and gives his appreciation to them. Ngumiti ako ng mapait. Lilith and her mom looked so overwhelmed and happy with the praises they get from my Father. They deserve it. After what happened to them, they deserve the attention my father gives.

"You look so pained." Puna ng lalaking nasa gilid ko na.

"Just shut up,"

He chuckled, "I know a place that can help you para maibsan 'yang dinadala mo."

"Where?" Napatingin ako sa kanya.

He shrugged, "You'll know if you'll go with me there."

"I'll talk to my Father first." Sagot ko.

Sa totoo lang, pag nakausap ko na si Papa ay aalis agad ako dito ngunit hindi pa uuwi, iyon ang plano ko una palang. I want to go to a place where I can pour all the inhibitions and pains that were kept in my chest for a long time. Wala naman sigurong masama na sumama ako kay Bellamy.

"It's okay. Just tell me if you want to go there and I'll take you there." He whispered and winked at me.

"You know what? Stop doing that."

"Ang alin?"

I shook my head, "Stop being flirt."

"Am I?" He challenged, the smirk plastered on his lips did not falter.

Napatingin ako sa aking kapatid na ngayon ay masayang masaya sa harap ng maraming tao. Lilith is two years ahead of me. Hindi ko maisip ang kalagayan nila ng kanyang ina noong muntik na silang iwan ni papa para lang sa amin. Kaya nga sinabi ko sa sarili ko na gagawin ko ang lahat mapasaya lang siya.

Huminga ako ng malalim at tinignan si Bellamy ng seryoso.

"Bellamy..."

Naramdaman niya siguro ang pagseseryoso ng aking boses kaya umayos siya ng pagkakatayo at sumeryoso rin ang kanyang mukha.

"Hmm?"

"Lilith is so good,"

"So are you,"

I shrugged, "I don't know what's going on with the two of you but I want you to take care of her."

Hindi siya nagsalita. Hindi rin ako nagsalita. Nakaharap ako sa stage kung nasaan sina papa at tinititigan lang ang aking kapatid. Hindi man kapatid ang turing niya sa akin, gusto ko pa rin siyang maging masaya.

After the speech of my Father, agad akong lumapit sa kanya kahit mahirap makakuha ng kanyang oras. Iniwan ko si Bellamy doon sa pwesto namin at nilapitan si Papa. I made sure that Lilith and Tita Ester won't see me. Lumapit ako noong natapos na siya sa kausap niyang kilala ko bilang isang may ari ng sikat na media network dito sa Pilipinas.

"Pa..." Tawag ko.

He turned and when he saw me, his eyes widened with so much amusement. Mukhang hindi niya inaasahan ang pagpapakita ko sa kaniya. Ngumiti ako at niyakap siya.

"I thought hindi ka na makakadalo, hija." He said as I ushered him out of the throng of people.

"Actually, Pa, wala akong balak magtagal. Pumunta lang talaga ako dito para magpakita ng suporta sa 'yo."

He smiled, "Have you seen Lilith? She'll be happy to see you! Teka at tatawagin ko ang kapatid mo—"

"Huwag na po pa," I stopped him, "Uh, hindi rin naman po ako magtatagal. Saka, h'wag mo na ring sabihin kay Lilith na pumunta ako dito at baka magtampo pa. Sabi ko kasi hindi ako makakadalo at may gagawin akong lesson plan."

Kitang kita ko ang pagkadismaya sa mga mata ng aking ama. Kahit naman gusto kong manatili ay hindi puwede. I don't want to rivet the attention of the people and I don't want to ruin their positive bubble of perception about my father. Despite the urge that was tugging my senses to stay, I tried to will it away.

"Sana ay magpakita ka muna sa kapatid at sa Tita mo!" He tried to convince me but I know that nothing can make me show myself to his family.

"Hindi na po kailangan pa." I smiled and looked around, "Mukhang marami ka pang dapat asikasuhin. Sige po, gusto ko lang sabihin na proud na proud ako sa 'yo. You've done something great, Papa."

Papa smiled and hugged me tightly. The pain started to engulf my chest as it almost hampered the ability of my heart to pump blood. I realized, I longed too much for my father's affection. I've always been dreaming him to be with us; I've always been wanting him to be with us. But it was a selfish wish, it was wish that could ravage the wall of happiness my Father built for his family.

But sometimes, we wish for something that is impossible to happen; we wish for something that we know can rip off the heart of others. It's normal to think selfishly, it's a natural tendency of human to be selfish.

Pero hindi pwede iyon. Ano ba ang saysay ng saya kapag may nasasaktan kang iba? You'd rather get rid of your heart rather than to see others suffering because of your selfishness.

Niyakap ko nang sobrang tagal ang aking ama. Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto pero wala akong pakialam. After five months of being away from him, I'd got a chance to hug him this way. Yakap ng isang ama, yakap na magpaparamdam sa 'yo ng kaligtasan. Kailigtasan na gustong gusto kong maramdaman araw araw.

Humiwalay ako sa yakap at agad na pinalis ang luhang hindi ko namalayang lumandas. I tried to feign a calm and pleased expression. Papa smiled at me and tousled my hair.

"Sige po, Pa. Una na ako,"

"Ingat ka. Nandoon sa labas si Junior. Ihahatid ka niya,"

I shook my head, "Hindi na po kailangan. May kasama po akong aalis. Sa kaniya nalang po ako magpapahatid."

Tumaas ang kanyang kilay, "Boyfriend?"

I shook my head and smiled, "Hindi po, Pa."

"Manliligaw?"

I chuckled, "Wala pa po sa utak ko ang ganiyang mga bagay."

Tumango si Papa at ngumiti. Sinuklian ko ang ngiti niya pagkatapos ay agad na ring tumalikod. I sauntered my way to Bellamy with the pain that lodged on my chest. Pinilit kong pakalmahin ang sarili ko habang naglalakad patungo sa puwesto kung saan ko iniwan si Bellamy.

When I saw his figure, I shivered. He's looking at me with his eyes laced with lethal seriousness. His jaw clenched as he watched me walk toward him. Huminga ako ng malalim at sinubukang walain ang sakit na namahay sa aking puso.