**Say What You Mean Out Loud**

~ T W E N T Y - O N E ~

Inevitable

Greyson Elliot's leg bounced up and down, while she leaned against Stanley and brushed her hand over the top of the tall grass.

"I only remember parts" Beverly told them, picking at her bracelets.
They were sitting in a big circle, some on logs and some on the ground.

"But... I thought I was dead." She said. "That's what it felt like."
Grey grabbed Stanley's hand and he looked at her, bandages around the perimeter of his face.

"I saw us, all of us together, back when this is done. But we were older. Like, our parents ages."
Grey tried to imagine what she'd look like older, and couldn't help but think back to what Pennywise had said to them.

Until old age takes you back to the weeds. Maybe Bev knew, because he knew.
Could that be their future? They all stick together? Or come back?

"W-w-wha-what were we all doing there?" Bill asked.
She shook her head. "I just remember how we felt... how scared we were. I don't think I could ever forget that."

Grey picked at her crusty shoelaces with her free hand, trying to quiet the noises in her head.
They had just defeated the fucking devil.

"Sweat it." Bill said. He had picked up a shard of glass, and stood up to look at the kids. "S-swear if it isn't dead, if it ever comes back... we'll come back too."

The kids all glanced at each other with skeptical faces.
Nobody really wanted to do that, they just stopped it. They didn't want to be a part of it anymore.

Except Beverly.
She stood up beside Bill, quickly followed by the rest of the kids.

Bill winced, cutting his hand open with the glass and making Grey squirm.
She was all for the blood oath, but she'd have to load up on tranexamic acid afterward if she ever wanted to stop bleeding.

He went around the circle, cutting everyone's hand open.
Each kid winced in pain, the crimson liquid slowly seeping from their hands.

All except Grey and Beverly.
Bev merely blinked when Bill cut her hand, and Grey's blood instantaneously gushed out of her hand, running all the way down her arm and dripping on the ground.

They locked hand with each other, standing in a comfortable silence and looking at their friends. All the kids who had been through thick and thin, defeated the devil and protected the people of Derry.

Greyson felt like Captain Kirk.

They let go of each other, blood coating all of their hands now.
Grey held her bleeding hand up, oozing with blood and showing no sign of stopping.

"Sorry guys, I have to go." She told them.
Stanley scratched his head, "Yah me too."

He looked at Bill, dead in the eyes and said, "I hate you."
Bill looked down in shame, but soon Stan was smiling and the losers started laughing.

"I'll... see you later." He said, grabbing Grey's hand and walking away from the group.
She turned around and looked at them, flashing her braces filled and cheerful smile a last time.

Stanley and Greyson walked away from the river, down to where there bikes were parked.
"So Stan the Man Urine, think you can drive me home?"

He smiled and they climbed on his bike.
Just like they had done so many times, she sat on the back rack and wrapped her arms around his waist.

The blood from her hand dripped down the front of his shirt, and the loss of blood made Grey feel funny.

Not quite hot and nauseous yet, but she felt light and airy.
Kind of dizzy, but happy.

"Stanley, what do you think's going to happen to all of us?" She asked the boy, the wind blowing her hair every which way.

She laid her head on his back, smiling and feeling safe with him.
"What do you mean?" He asked her.

"I mean... where do you think we're going to be? 27 years from now?"
He sighed and laid a hand on her's.
"I'm going to be happy. A-and married to a girl my parents hate because she's not jewish, but she- a-at least her teeth are really straight because she wore braces for so long."

She laughed and scooted closer to him, making the bike wobble ever so slightly.
"Well I'm going to be traumatized, but happy." She laughed. "And I'm going to be with the most amazing boy, that my brother will probably come to accept once we get the hell out of here."

He sat up straighter. "Oh yah! I'm definitely not going to live here anymore."
"Well that's a given."

"Well.. b-but what about the two of... of us?" He asked her.
She smiled and let her eyes lazily close.

"Well that depends. Are we just friends that kissed and hold hands a lot, or are we gonna shake it up and get you out of your comfort zone Stanley Urine? Because that's basically what I'm here for."

He laughed lightly. "What? Getting me out of my comfort zone?"
"Exactly! That's pretty much all I do anyway."

They had finally gotten onto a main road, away from the river and the sewers and the railroads.
"Well my comfort zone is very small, so that's not very hard to do."

"I suppose, but can't you just let me have this?"
She fiddled with one of the buttons on the front of his shirt, tracing it and shutting her eyes.

As the trees flew by the they started to blur together, dancing in a swirl of golden memories.
The Temple where Stanley gave his bar mitzvah speech.
The path leading down to the sewers where they first met Ben.
The school where she met all her friends for the first time, the first (and only) kids who were actually nice to her.
The pharmacy where they met Beverly, formally.

"You know what, can you take me to the pharmacy first?"
"Yah, why?"

Her vision get blurrier around the edges, and she smiled wider, starting to feel the nausea.

"Because I'm starting to lose too much blood, and I don't want to pass out on the back of your bike." She giggled.
The way Stan abruptly turned his bike and started racing towards the pharmacy told Grey that it probably wasn't that funny.

But the wooziness clouded her judgement too much to tell, so she kept on giggling and tracing buttons on Stanley's shirt.

Because worrying had gotten her nowhere this summer.
The worrying and the fear, had actually almost gotten her killed.

And she was the one who had taught everyone to be braver.
That was her.

She helped Stanley to not be braver, but to realize just how brave he already was.
And she was never, ever going to forget it.
Or the friends she'd made along the way.

She thought...