**Say What You Mean Out Loud**

~ O N E ~

Emmet Waters

Greyson Elliot stared at the spot on her ceiling.
The stupid, water damage spot on the ceiling.

The same, dark grey water spot she looked at every single night.
It felt like a disastrous loop, one that she'd never get out of.

Get home from her the Va Medical Center- Salt Lake City, argue with her fiance, climb into bed and apologize, stare at the stupid water spot.

Something was missing in her life.
She yearned for something else in her life, something her fiance Emmet couldn't give her.

She had lots of things in her life that she couldn't explain or that she thought she wanted.
There was the thick scar on her palm, that she had no recollection of.

There were always bottles of tranexamic acid tablets with her, but she never knew why.
She had no use for them.

So she sat and stared at the stupid water spot on her boring, beige ceiling, and wanted something more. She just had to figure out what it was first.

She got up from her spot in bed, but the moment she swung her legs over the side, her fiancé grabbed her wrist.

She flinched and looked down at the half awake man.
"Where are you going?" He asked, his voice deep and gruff.

"I'm just going to the bathroom." Her voice was small, and her hands shook.
He dismissed her with a quiet groan, and let go of her wrist.

She slipped away to the small bathroom and sat on the covered toilet seat, her head in her hands.
She ran her fingers through her wavy hair, taking deep breaths and trying to stay calm.

When she spoke to Emmet, she made her voice small.
No... he made her voice small.
He made her smaller, and she didn't like that.

But she loved that man out there.
She could never just leave him.
But she could never tell him how she felt either.

That would cause too much damage.
Things she could never take back, but didn't want to take back.

An idle tear ran down her face and she wiped it away, standing up and staring at herself in the mirror.

"Pull yourself together." She whispered l, staring at the girl in the mirror she didn't recognize anymore.
"You love that man, and he loves you."

She ran her hands up and down her arms, warming her cold skin and walking out of the bathroom.
She got back into bed, carefully climbing in next to the man and pulling the blanket over herself.

Maybe he wasn't the problem.
Maybe she was.
She just couldn't handle the thought they they were going to be married in just a few months.

Before she could finish her exasperating train of thoughts, she fell asleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Greyson was frying up bacon in a pan, the sizzling smell filling the whole room.
She smiled and snuck a piece for herself before starting to put it on plates.

She threw 2 more pieces on the pan, and a hand grabbed her wrist mid action.
She looked up at her fiancé Emmet, gulping down what bacon was left in her mouth.

Even with the bacon sizzling, the room felt quiet as he stared at her.
"Where's your ring?" He asked her, looking down at her finger.

"I... I just took it off to cook."
"Put it back on." He ordered, grabbing it from its place on the counter and forcing it into her finger.

He let go of her hand, merely discarding it like trash.
Her hand flew down and barely missed the pan.

Her happy bacon morning had been watered down to a simple, run-of-the-mill morning.
She's get over it.
She always did.

Until Emmet left for work.
And Greyson was getting ready to call in sick.
You can't be sick to a doctors office anyway, it's very bad form.

But just as she was about to pick up her phone, it started ringing.

She picked it up and sighed.
"I'm sorry I'm not there yet, I'm just not feeling-"
"Grey Elliot?" 

It was a voice she did not recognize.
A voice that called her Grey.
"Hello?" She asked. "Who is this?"

"You need to come back to Derry, Maine."
Derry, Maine.
She suddenly felt woozy, and sat down on the sofa.

"Derry?"
"Yes. You need to come back, it's deadly urgent."
She sat in contemplation for another second before the voice said: "It's back."

She gasped and stood up.
"Mike? Mike Hanlon is that you?"
"Yes, yes it's me. Grey you need to come back as soon as possible."

And then he hung up.
He just, hung up after dropping a huge bomb of news.
She couldn't believe it. She had been missing something.

Derry, Maine that's where it all happened.
She wasn't sure what, but it was too significant to ignore.

She ran to her room and grabbed her things, stuffing them into a suitcase.
Emmet just went on a surprise business trip 2 weeks ago, perhaps he wouldn't mind the sudden departure of his fiancé.

She grabbed an assortment of jackets from her closets, ones she was allowed to use exclusively during the colder season.

But even with the warm weather, it felt good to slide on the long sleeved cover, like she had missed it for too long.

She pulled on her old running sneakers, and grabbed her suitcase, making her way to the front door.
Before walking out, she scanned the house she was leaving, as if she wasn't coming back.

Over in the living room was where Emmet and Greyson had sat and watched all the Star Trek movies in a row.

Over on the back porch was were they shared a candle light dinner that was so romantic, but inevitably ended in arguments.

In the kitchen where they had screamed at each other until their faces were blue.

In the bedroom, where they have had make-up sex... that Greyson had never opted to in the first place.

She stepped out into the front porch and slammed the door shut, zipping up her jacket.

You know what?
Good riddance.