**Say What You Mean Out Loud**

~ S E V E N T E E N ~

The Bar Mitzvah

Greyson Elliot watched Stanley talking in front of everyone they knew.
He held the microphone with both hands.

"Reflecting on the meaning of what I just read, the word lshnot comes up a lot, which means uh, to change, to transform. Which... makes sense I guess because today I'm supposed to become a man." He trailed off, glancing at his friends watching him from the booths.

"It's funny though, everyone I think... has some memories their prouder of than others, right? And maybe that's why change is so scary."

He looked at Grey, and she fiddled with her cardigan drawstring, and smiled at him.
"Because the thing we wish we could leave behind..."

He looked at Richie, who sat little ways away from Grey.
"The whispers we wish we could silence..."

His gaze shifted down, in a contemplating manner.
"The nightmares we most want to wake up from..."

Grey felt her heart shaking, like the way her hands did when she was scared.
"The memories we wish we could change. The secrets we feel like we have to keep... are the hardest to walk away from."

Grey traced up and down her scar, looking up at her brother beside her.
He watched the boy up on the stand skeptically.

"The good stuff... the pictures in our minds that fade away the fastest. Those pieces of you it feels the easiest to lose."

He looked straight at Grey, quite obviously. Enough that she could Richie look at her from the corner of her eye.
"Maybe I don't want to forget. Maybe i-if th-that's what today is all about... forget it, right?"

His father stepped forward and made a grab for the microphone.
"Thank you Stanley." It more of a dismissal than appreciation.

Stanley stepped forward, down the steps.
"I-uh, um today I'm supposed to become a man but, uh..."

He walked away from his dad, stuttering and tripping over the microphone cord.
"But I don't feel any different."

He turned around and looked right at his dad.
"I know I'm a loser. And no matter what..."

He spoke with vigor to not only his dad, but half the town.
"I always. Fucking. Will be."

He dropped the mic and walked away.
Richie stood up and started to clap, so Grey stood as well.

Their parents pulled them down, Richie's mom shaking her head disapprovingly and Jared hissing a quiet, "What is wrong with you?"

"He said how he really felt, and it was all the truth. That took guts."
Jared shrugged. "Great, that's... whatever. But at his bar mitzvah?"

She gulped and shrugged.
"Well, I mean... okay I see your point there."
"Yah."
"Not good."
"Nope."

Once the service was apparently and uncomfortably over, Grey jumped up and ran to the double doors in which poor Stanley just exited.

She was unknowingly followed close by Richie, who was just as excited.
They ran out and found Stanley grabbing his bike, throwing off his robe and undoing his tie.

"Stanley Urine! My man!" Richie yelled, noogieing him through his kippa.
He groaned and pushed Richie off of him, staring at Grey with an off smile, not sure of what she was going to say.

Her expression curved up into a smile and she started noogieing him too, making Richie laugh loudly.
"You realize you just gave your dad, half the town, and the entire Beth Emeth Congregation two big middle fingers, right?"