All along, I knew I'll be trading something for my career. It was hard to accept
that it could possibly be my time for him but I wasn't expecting that it would be
our six years of being together.
We did not simply break up just like cliché stories from books. For almost a year
apart, we embraced the long distance relationship. As best we could, we used all
access of social media like my instagram, facebook and even virtual calls just for
us to keep updated with each other.
When I would call his phone, he would immediately pick up. When he requested
for a video call, I would hurriedly open my account for Skype. In short, we pretty
did it well together.
It was until mid-month of February came, before couples around the globe
celebrate Valentine‟s Day. I received a short message from him. I tried to reach
out his number but he just replied with a text message that he‟ll call me tonight.
Upon receiving his message, I empty my schedule for that night to at least have a
good conversation that night. I set aside my almost done write ups and wait for
his call at the rooftop of my apartment where I usually spend time alone.
I waited for almost fifteen minutes when suddenly my phone rings. At first, our
mood was kind of light but as the night grew deeper it turns out to be a serious
one.
“So, what's with the call? I'm expecting that you'll call me this Friday. What's up
with today?” I curiously asked.
“I have something to tell you.” He replied.
“You sound so serious, huh? Is there any problem?” I asked him.
As soon as I felt that there must be something wrong of what he's going to say, I
try to joke around and make our mood a little lighter.
“It's about us Dale. I guess we need to talk.” He started.
I tried to gather up my thoughts and slowly grasped what he's saying that night. I gathered all my strength although I was a bit tired that day of my hectic schedule
in the company. Still, I managed to think clearly and understand pretty well.
“Is there any problem between us?” I carefully asked him.
“I can't stand it any longer Dale. At first, I thought that I can endure the loneliness of being far from you but lately I realized I can't. I tried to convince myself to stay strong and support you in this path you have taken but lately I
can't bear it anymore.” He said calmly and slowly.
“Is this concern about my time for you?” I asked.
“It could be. But, it's not only that. I want a good foundation of relationship,Dale. We're getting older. I have my job now and I'm sure you can still find your own here only if you tried.” He continued.
“What do you want me to do? Do you want me to give up my career here? If you
don't know D, I'm in lined for promotion this year. Anytime soon, I'll be an editor. Can't you bear with me, please?” I convinced him.
“Dale, just in case you already forget, you told me last time that if I want you here back, you'll consider it, right?.” He continuously explained.
“Yes I did! But, Dylan, you know how long I waited for this thing to happen- to be a professional writer, properly compensated, work in a company and at the same time travel freely to various places that I've only seen in magazines and pictures. Can't I at least get even just a bit of support this time?” I asked him.
“You always know I've been with you since day one. But, I also didn't expect that it would turn out like this. Can't you understand what I'm trying to
point out?” he also asked.
“I do understand you. What I can't understand is that I feel like I have no other choice but to give up the career I always dreamed off.” I said to him.
“There's no point in arguing this. It's better if we give each other some
space. I want you to enjoy your job and life. But, I can't stand in a day always waiting for you to come back and settled with me. I'll be waiting for
you but just to let you know, it won't be for too long.” He finally said trying
to make me choose.
“So,is this a kind of ultimatum? Huh?” I disappointedly asked controlling my voice not to crack while asking him.
“No, Dale. Never in my life I imagined saying this to you but you let me push to do it. I'm sorry.” He finally said.
I found no words to utter. I think my tongue was tied up. I ended the call and slowly the idea of break up is sinking into my mind. I haven't said anything after that but I knew in my heart that I'm experiencing emotional distress that time.
Instead of crying and sitting alone in the corner, I keep myself busy. I attended seminars for additional documents in my paper. I spent most of my time in the studio. I accepted the offer of some clients like photo editing
that I seldom took before.
Back then, all I knew is I couldn't simply let him go. I was so confident about our relationship thus working in the city and far from each other didn't bother me at all. The thought that we broke up felt like my heart was being torn out of my chest; it left me devastated and short of breath. I couldn'l't believe just because of
the distance we broke. I was convinced that although we're physically distant
with each other, our relationship could withstand the challenges.
To ease the pain, I distracted myself. I used my time editing and thinking for a
good concept to the next issue of magazines. Deep inside, I felt so desperate to
still preserve my promise to him. I would not give him up yet I wouldn't fight for him either. Destiny will lead us to where we belong. I just need time to think
better.
Right before Valentine's Day, I got my promotion as an Editor. I was so happy but still feel incomplete. I still thought that I would be happier if he was still with me in this momentous event of my life. Nevertheless, I still told the news to my family and as expected they were all happy and proud for me most especially my
dad who was with me while choosing this path. Until I hung up my phone, they repeatedly said that I truly deserve the promotion. From then on, I became so focus with my job. Sometimes, I sleep on my table instead of lying comfortably on my bed. I broke almost ten sharpeners and sharpened almost a dozen of pencil in just a month. I already broke two coffee mugs while doing my write ups. Though things are falling into places by now since I already to save an amount for the lot I'
m planning to buy for my family here in the city; I already save enough for my sibling's tuition fees for College and above all, a savings for myself; I could sometimes still feel the emptiness of five years ago.
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