No Title

C. 10

He's been gone for so long now, I have no clue if it's been mere hours or days, all I know is that my tears have run dry, my heart has all but slowed, and my mind has only raced more as the hours pass by.

In the beginning all of my thoughts were of him and his absence but now I have managed to steer it towards questions that I need answered right at this moment. My heart still beat for him and my eyes still burned red but with his absence I am unable to sleep and focusing has been difficult but in a way it has helped, I've come to many conclusions in a short amount of time.

The person I was meant to forget is in fact gone, I picked apart my mind in hopes of even a name appearing but they are gone, the only thing I know now is that they may have been a man, or possibly a boyish looking woman. If I force myself to I can believe he is a man but that is all, there is no more of this mystery person and somehow their empty memory leaves me feeling vacant, like they were important and I needed them for something but now I can't remember anything of them. They are gone but their presence can not be erased, they are still there but I just can't see them.

The second thing that my mind thought of was Niklaus, in the few days I have been here I haven't learned much about him other than the memories he has granted me since I found out the truth. We have mainly sat in silence in this dreary cave but on the few occasions we have spoken they have been seemingly normal- if one were to take a demon and some thing he plucked from earth and laid claim to normal then that is exactly what this is. I don't understand why I'm here or why this happened to me, there must have been a mix along the family bloodlines because I have been an Elzing since birth, my father was one and therefore I am as well, my mothers last name was Pierce, I have never had an Atlas relative. But the facts are obvious, I am something, I just don't know what exactly. Niklaus has yet to tell me anything important, first his fascination was focused on the commands I followed so blindly and next he disappeared because of the blade he touched against my skin, and now he has disappeared once more and I don't know why this time. He seemed so pleased to see me awake but now he's left me here all alone and he may not come back for me.

Why do I need him so much? He is nearly a stranger but I need him like the air one needs to breathe. Being without him is torture, I ache to know he is safe and I crave to be by his side because he is all that I need now. My job is no longer important, my old life means nothing now because the thought of leaving him disturbs me like nails on a chalkboard, I simply can not bear to live without him and I have no clue as to why that is. Just a few days ago I was fine with my life and I was happy about it although it was crappy and sad, I was happy. But now, my happiness lies in his lap where I now wish I could be, would he even let me sleep there again? Possibly when he returns like last time and he will grant me comfort like before because I am undoubtedly tired, I wish to sleep now but I can't, not with him away.

Will he return soon or has he left me here alone for the rest of my time? I am tired, I want to sleep but I want him. Is this what blind loyalty is? Have I become worse than a family dog? At least they can sleep and remain calm when their owner leaves them for a while whereas I can only worry and panic and my mind fights my body to stay awake. Is that what he is? There is no way, people don't have those and this feeling is only momentary until he lets me go- I don't want him to let me go, I'm happy with him, with Niklaus. Where is Niklaus?

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My eyelids are barely able to stay open, I can feel the crust of tears coating them and the side of my face. Every so often my eyes will flutter in an attempt to bring them back to life but it is all for nothing as they simply return back to their lazy squint. My mind had long checked out and my body had fallen numb, while my heart still beat unsteadily I had grown used to it, I have just been here waiting for countless hours, I wish for Niklaus to return because I want to sleep, I want his comfort and rest.