No Title

C. 19

Entry# 10

What I feared had become a reality, I wished for my Beasty to never know the horrors I have committed or the deaths that littered these grounds but she knew. She knew of all the women and the images, the way her eyes looked at me as I tried to comfort her in the study, it was all too familiar. I've seen that look, I invented it, it's the one I once flourished on but when she seen me, when her mind seen me with bloody hands and as some monster my heart broke. And for me, Devniklaus to say that my blackened heart had broken means that she has done something to alter the inner workings of my mind. I have thrived on the fear people have for me, and the tears they shed for me to leave them be but the tears she shed were different; while they were never touching me as each fell I felt as if I were drowning in them.

I felt her crawl from my arms and watched as she ventured around my bedroom, she trailed about the bookcase and searched for the missing book, this book to be exact and when she found it I was sure she would open it and read the journey until now but to my surprise she closed it and placed it down on the table where it once lay. While she played with my pets I wondered why she placed it down. She had seen the date of which it started but placed it down anyway, and I was curious as to why that was. I allowed her to play with the lost soul I turned, Nachash, the smallest of them all but with the loveliest blue, black and orange coloring, he seemed to find a liking in her. That was always like Nachash, he loved the beautiful women but he never took any interest in the other women I've brought to bed, only this one. The young beast has caught the attention of one heavens darkest angels, the serpent from the Garden of Eden. Such a cunning young man, he could have gone quite far if he had never tried to cross me.

When I spoke to the beast about her visions and her sudden panic she confessed to everything. From the way she spoke and even smelled I could she was not afraid of me, to be sure I checked her thoughts and I was right. There was no fear of me but fear of being left behind, whoever this Alina angel is, she told her of the deal I was once going to make and there was something about the way she pled to be kept, begged to stay with me that made me feel guilty for considering giving her away. And she called me strange things I've never been called before, she called me nice. I've never been known of as nice, the word has never before been spoken with my name and for her to have defended my name and call me that while she was alone, that was strange. It caused me to feel strange, some unnatural feeling.

The angel also asked my Beasty to kill me and the young thing denied her requests and neglected to tell me, and I know I should be angry with her, punish her somehow for not telling me but I can not. The thought of punishing her for protecting me and I assume what ever feelings she may believe I have, I feel that would be wrong. She is obedient, and she makes me feel strange. I was once connected to my Cambion and never felt this emotion for her but for my Beasty, my sweet little hybrid who only wishes to stay with and adore me, I would burn the world to the ground. But right now is not the time to set the world ablaze, now is the time to hunt. The angel that dare try to turn my beast, my possession against me shall fully understand the pain I am created of. My beast is mine and mine alone, for this creature of heaven to attempt to take her from me and hand her to a man with the intentions of laying bare with her when he does not know her true value, I will drain them both dry. I will drain them of the essence that gives them their divinity and once they are weak and pathetic humans, I will kill them. Or maybe I'll only drain half of their essence to make them weak enough and have two beautiful additions to the tank in my bedroom, just so they can watch my hands hold her down as I take what belongs to me. They'll watch as my lips blanket her body with their touch before I leave her pleading me to allow her to rest, they'll watch it all, and only then will they realize too late that my Beasty belongs to me and me only and they were the fools.

But could I do that? Could I ravish her the way I deeply desire, the innocence in her eyes will know that of the scars that cover my body and the weight sex brings. I wish to take every inch of her but I also wish to never have her see that part of me, I always have the opportunity to have other women and Mirabal is still in the manor so I can use her whenever I need to satisfy myself. My Beasty will remain innocent, she will be mine and only be pure.

-Devniklaus C.