No Title

C. 11

Entry #6

I was correct, the young beast did welcome my presence when I returned and when I expressed she was being punished she crumbled even more, her thoughts all blaming herself for my absence as if she could control when I come and go.

I could never admit to anyone that seeing my Beasty so exhausted and broken down made a part in me ache that I assumed had died when I fell from the heavens. Awakening a Nephilim tends to make the awakener feel for their half breed and while I've never felt for anyone before I assume it does not feel like the way she makes me feel. Her tears of joy warm me but knowing that she becomes restless and afraid for me pains me, being away from her for four days was difficult as the more she is around the more I notice small things about her. She hasn't really opened up and I assume it is because she has much to think about that stops her or maybe she is afraid to disappoint me, either way, I wish it would stop soon.

While I care enough for my Beasty, I never asked for a Nephilim, I asked for Lucifer's dog and I definitely got more than I bargained for. With Beasty I'll have to care for her like she is someone I care about while in reality I just want a friend, a confidant if you must. To spend my time enjoying laughter and training, not taking care of and protecting for all of eternity.

I can not afford to hold attachment towards this beast because she will only put my life in jeopardy. I have found myself thinking if I could possibly give her to the heavens as a peace offering, they could train her and pair her with someone who wants the burden of her existence and I could leave this cave and go about my business. If I leave to the human world the heavens will only strike me down in an attempt to kill her and I have worked hard over the last few centuries to lose the eye of the angels and now this beast has put a target on my back along with hers.

Now that the young Beasty knows what she is and of her history I may be able to turn her over and rid myself of this burden for all eternity. Her presence will simply be a nagging itch within me that I will eventually learn to ignore, as long as she stays away I shall not want her and that is what I desire. If I keep her, her presence will leave me weak and vulnerable as she could be used as leverage against me, but if I return her to the heavens and allow them to program her into one of their loyal servants then I will be free to roam the earth peacefully.

The decision has been made. While the young Beasty rests tonight I will call an audience with an angel of heaven and request an exchange. The target off my back for her, it truly is a fair deal, and if they refuse to take it then I'll do to her what I did to my Cambion all those centuries ago: I will use her body in which ever way I please and when she is no longer of use or excitement to me anymore I will kill her. It is painful for an awakener to kill their Nephilim or cambion but after a century the ache will begin to fade and in two centuries there will be nothing but a faint memory of an irritating being. The heavens shall decide her fate, angelic servitude or death by her awakener. I feel tempted to skip to the end and use her now seeing as she was quite adventurous this evening while I slept, the ways I could use her and listening to the whimpers she'd give as I did so, she'd never tell me no even if I caused her great pain, she would be very fun to use but alas, I can not lay with such a creature. If she were only a Nephilim, possibly, but to lay with Lucifer's creation who happens to be such an abomination would surely bring shame upon me and my land.

-Devniklaus C.