Yowzah Oneshot Collection (3)

24(M)

Driving round town, drinking in the white noise

mygalfriday (BrinneyFriday)

Sometimes, when she's this young, he feels more like her father than her husband, always with a scolding finger and an authoritative, "Now River..." or a "Put that back!" or "Don't you dare push that flashy red button, River Song!" on the tip of his tongue. But then she'll put a hand on the positively sinful curve of her hip and flash him a smile so wicked it could only belong to his hell in high heels and well, he stops feeling like her father very quickly.

Still, it isn't difficult to summon up a stern face when she's standing in the middle of the street outside her parents' home in the dark of night, attempting to steal her father's red convertible. He stands by her side, acting her as reluctant lookout as she kneels by the door and jimmies the lock. "River, if this is one of your strange urges to use normal transport," he spits out the word 'normal' like wine, "we could take the bus!"

"I don't take the bus." She gives a triumphant hum and stands fluidly, taking a step back and opening the door. "Unless I'm stealing it."

He watches her climb into the car and set to work putting the top down, a rising panic in his throat. "Great idea! Let's steal a bus, you and me, Song."

The top down, she slides into the driver's seat with an appreciative purr. "You'd rather steal a bus than take my father's car?"

"Yes!" He stamps his foot and refuses to feel silly about it, despite her raised eyebrow. "Because at least then we'll just get arrested!"

River watches him for a long moment before an amused smirk curves her distracting mouth. "You're scared of my dad."

"He has a sword, River!"

She giggles.

He scowls and though he really hates talking to his wife like he's her bloody minder, she is not his wife right now and he has to put his foot down. "We are not stealing Rory's car. This is insane."

Unsurprisingly undeterred, she pouts, running her hands over the steering wheel enticingly, a bit like he imagines the serpent would have caressed the apple. "You said we could do whatever I wanted for my birthday!"

"And you want to commit grand theft auto?!" His voice does not squeak at the end of that sentence and if River Song says otherwise, she is a lying liar who lies. He'd had plans for this evening - lovely, romantic plans that would have made an older River swoon. But no, he'd ended up with a River still in university - a River who, quite frankly, scares the hell out of him. "River, this car is your father's baby!"

Her eyes gleam. "Exactly."

He taps his fingers against the side mirror with a triumphant, "You don't have the keys."

She laughs throatily. "When has that ever stopped me?" And just to prove it, she bends her head and begins to fiddle with some wires. In moments, the engine is purring quietly. River lifts her head, smiling brightly. "You were saying, sweetie?"

Without a better argument, the Doctor falls back on the one that continues to strike terror into his hearts. "He has a sword! A very pointy sword that he knows how to use!"

"Well, we'll just have to get the car back before he wakes up and finds it missing, won't we?" River shrugs carelessly, as if his impending doom is of no consequence to her.

"This is stupid," he snaps. "Stupid and reckless."

She beams up at him. "Good." Patting the seat next to her, she revs the engine as loud as she dares. "Now, are you getting in or what, Time Lord? I haven't got all night."