Yowzah Oneshot Collection (3)

125(G)

                 In The Darkness

                 heytheremisssong

'Sweetie?' Her voice was quiet as she pushed the bedroom door open, the light flooding the darkened room. She saw his figure curled up in the middle of the bed, his back to her. You need to be brave, she thought to herself, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. He needs you to be brave right now. Closing the door, the only sound she could hear was the soft hum of the TARDIS engines as they drifted. The room plunged back into darkness which didn't bother her. The dark was comforting, if anything tonight. Peeling off her clothes and tugging on one of his old t-shirts, River quickly found his still shaking body, her hand resting softly on his arm. 'Darling, please say something.' Even in the darkness, she could see the pained expression on his face. His usually bright green eyes seemed dead, like nothing could ever make him happy again. The thought terrified her - she wouldn't let him destroy himself over this.

'They're gone.' He choked out, curling into himself. 'I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry.' River sighed, tucking her legs beneath her and pulling his head into her lap, fingers toying with his hair gently. 'Everything that has ever happened to you... It's all my fault.' He squeezed his eyes shut, the feel of her soft skin against his both agonising and comforting. Suddenly, he felt her warm lips against his forehead, her tears falling onto his face. 'I will never be able to apologise to you enough. Give you the life you deserve...' She hushed him, her lips still against his head. 'River... My beautiful River... I don't deserve you.'

'Well, you've got me, sweetie.' She smiled weakly, brushing his hair away from his face. 'None of this is your fault, my love. Not one bit of this is your fault.' He looked up at her, his eyes swollen and red. 'Hey... It's okay. We're okay.' For now, he thought sadly, reaching up to rest a shaky hand on her cheek. It killed him, knowing he would lose her. That their story would end before it could truly begin. He desperately wanted her to stay. To stay with him and run from their fate. Of course, he understood why she couldn't - their timelines, for starters, being the biggest roadblock in their relationship. Her fingers were still softly stroking his hair, calming his hearts better than anything else in the universe. 'Feeling a bit better?'

'Mmmhmm...' He sat up shakily, pulling her tight against his chest. 'I'm not the one who needs to be looked after, though.' She looked up at him, puzzled. 'You just lost your parents, sweetheart. Don't even try to tell me that you're okay. You're not. I know you well enough to know that you're far from okay.' Her hands found his shirt, gripping onto the material tightly. He could feel her shaking, feel the tears as they dropped onto his chest. 'River, please stop trying to be brave. You're always the brave one. Stop it, please... For me...' The shakes became stronger, her breathing more ragged. 'Why can't we both just be sad for once?'

'Because it's not fair...' She finally whispered, her tears flowing freely. 'None of this is fair.' The Doctor had managed to tangle his fingers in her hair, his face buried in the mess of curls. 'Who decided that we're not allowed to be happy? Why do our timelines have to be so completely fucked? All I want is to be with you. That's it, I mean, it's not like I'm asking for the entire universe here. I just want to be with you.' Harsh sobs escaped her throat, her knuckles turning white from the grip she had on him. 'And now? I lose my parents again! This time, I can't even fight to be with them, because they're really gone. Really, really gone.'

'Oh, River...' He managed, pulling her closer, their bodies fitting together perfectly - as if they were actually made for each other. 'It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay to cry. I know that none of this is fair. But we've got each other for now, okay? I've got you, and you've got me, and even if we're only together for a moment I know that it will be the happiest moment of my life. Because I'm with you.' He shifted so they were laying down, their bodies a tangled mess of limbs. 'I'll always be with you, understand?'

'Even when you're not?' She asked, her voice hoarse from crying. 'Even when our story is over?' He smiled sadly, kissing her forehead before cupping her face in his hands.

'Even then, darling. I will always be with you. I'll always find you.' Their eyes locked, and she understood. Understood what he was promising - that even when she was gone, she would hold his hearts in her small hands. 'Try get some sleep, sweetheart.'

'Only if you do.' River countered, tucking her head under his chin and pressing her face against his chest, the sound of his hearts beating steadily calming her. He nodded simply, burying his face in her curls and kissing the top of her head. 'I love you. I don't say it as much as I should. But... God, I love you...'

'I love you too. Always and forever, my darling River...'

When they awoke the next morning, the pain of losing the Ponds still ached in their chests. But knowing that no matter how hard the universe tried, nothing could keep them apart - that was what gave the distraught couple the strength to carry on.