Yowzah Oneshot Collection (3)

121(M)

                 Her Taxi Service

                   spoilersweetie

Where is that man!? River Song fumes to herself as, with her hands shackled in front of her, she is led up the steps to the foreboding wooden platform.

“Watch the hair,” she warns the hooded man as he places a thick, rough rope round her neck, sliding the knot down to secure it. She looks down at the large crowd that has turned up to watch her hanging - she’d been informed it was the biggest turn out the town had seen and she supposes she should be flattered but she can’t help just feeling that everyone in this century really was rather twisted. There are children’s faces as well as adults peering up at her - and the sound of several babies crying in the crowds.

“The prisoner has been found guilty,” begins the skinny, grey-haired man standing at the front of the platform with a parchment in hand, “And the penalty is death.”

“Of all the times to be late!” River mutters to herself crossly.

“The sentence will be carried out and may the lord have mercy on your soul.”

He signals the executioner and the hooded man places a hand on the trapdoor lever when -

A mercifully familiar voice halts him with a loud shout of “Wait!”

River scans the crowd to quickly locate the Doctor shoving his way through the people. “Wait, wait, wait! He is calling out as he pushes his way to the front, the crowd around him muttering in annoyance. “What’s going on, why are you hanging this woman!?” He demands when he reaches the front.

“Er – and who exactly are you, sir?” The official asks with hostility.

“What do you mean who am I - I’m the mayor of this town, don’t you know your own superior!?”

River rolls her eyes.

“You’re not the mayor -”

“And if you’re not careful you’re going to be fired. Now. What’s this woman done?”

He sniffs and stands up taller. “She broke into and stole an item from the good Lord Montague’s private collection.”

“Oh, for -” the Doctor looks exasperated. “What did I tell you - you can’t just go around taking things you fancy River, the world doesn’t work like that!”

She pouts down at him. “Sorry sweetie, guess I just can’t help myself.”

“What is going on here!?” The official suddenly demands. “Who are you?”

“Oh - whoops. That’s my cover blown then… uhh… well as you’ve probably just guessed I’m not really the mayor I’m… I’m this woman’s… husband, and well, I heard she was being hung so naturally I came to see what that was all about but yes I quite agree if she stole something then fair enough, go ahead! Never really liked her anyway more of a pain in the neck than anything but before you continue may I just say one final thing to her?”

The official looks confused. “Well - I suppose if you are her husband…”

“Yes, I am,” he locks eyes with River who is regarding him with a raised eyebrow, the picture of coolness even as she stands on a podium with a noose round her neck. “And before you hang her I just want to tell her…” Quick as a flash he whips his sonic out of his pocket, points it at the rope slung round the beam and - “Run!” - breaks the rope, setting her free and he holds out his hand for her to grab as she leaps off the platform and then they are running, flat out, shoving their way through the crowd and sprinting down the cobbled streets.