Yowzah Oneshot Collection (3)

185(M)

                     Sweet revenge

                          Amie33

The Doctor swears as he steps out of the shower, only to find that his towel has disappeared. As a matter of fact he realises, after opening all the bathroom cabinets, that all the towels are gone and so are his clothes. He huffs and runs his fingers through his dripping hair in impatience. “River!” He has no doubt that she is the one who has taken his clothes and towels. It’s not the first time it’s happened, and he is totally aware of the reason why she keeps doing it, and yes it’s his fault, but it’s been years, and he’s growing tired of her reminding him every day.

He screams her name again as he exits the bathroom, only to find himself in one of the cold corridors of the TARDIS instead of his warm bedroom. He puffs even more and shakes his head angrily. “You’re not taking her side again, are you?” he shouts out to the ship, who trembles around him and dims the lights, the air of the corridor getting colder at the same time and the Doctor shivers, still totally wet and dripping on the floor. “Ok, fine, you stand with her if you want, I’m sorry.” The air immediately gets warmer and the lights shine normally again, and he whispers a thank you, before mumbling again about the stupid character of his wife and his ship (if the TARDIS hears him, at least she doesn’t threaten him again).

The Doctor starts wandering in the corridors, looking for something to dry himself with and clothes to wear, but apparently tonight River is very angry, and he can’t find a thing. He opens a few dressing rooms but they are all empty, his bedroom has totally disappeared, and there’s not even a rag to cover his most intimate parts. At least, after a few minutes he is dried.

“River, please,” he shouts out, hoping she’s still somewhere in the ship and will take pity on him, “can I have my clothes back now? This is not funny. I know this is my fault, I shouldn’t have, I apologise. Please, forgive me. River!”

“Doctor, why are you shouting in the middle of the night and… oh my god.”

He yelps in surprise as he recognises Amy’s voice, and tries to cover himself at the same time as she brings her hand up to her face to cover her eyes.

“Doctor! You’re not wearing any clothes!”

“Yes, I know,” he sighs out, feeling himself blushing, and he’s glad Amy still can’t see him.

“Please tell me you have something to make me forget I’ve ever seen what I’ve seen.”

“Well, er… maybe. There are these things called memory worms, if you touch them quickly they can erase your--”

“Worms?” she cuts him off, “Erk, never, it’s disgusting, I’ll try to survive. But what on earth are you doing in the middle of the night, shouting naked in the corridors?”

“I…” he starts and stops, letting out a pitiful whine. “It’s River. She took my clothes.”

“Stop it!” Amy shouts, “I don’t want to know anything about you and my daughter taking each other’s clothes. Oh lord, too late, I have images now, no, I hate you, couldn’t you just be discreet when you’re doing some private things?”

“What?” the Doctor feels himself blushing even more, “No, no, we weren’t… It’s not what you think. We don’t, well, sometimes we do obviously but no, no, not tonight. She’s angry.”

Amy uncovers her eyes, surprised by his reply, before remembering he’s still naked and puts her hand back on her face. “Angry? What have you done?”

“Me? Why do you assume it’s my fault?”

“Doctor, I know you.” If he could see her eyes, he is sure they would glare at him accusingly. “And you’re the one wandering naked in your ship, so I assume you must have done something very wrong…”