Yowzah Oneshot Collection (3)

80(G)

And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

                     savvyliterate

It took a couple hundred years before either of them could begin to discuss Lake Silencio with anything other than extreme guilt, dour looks, and River excusing herself to vent her emotions on a gun range. It was in both of their natures to handle the hardships of their lives with levity, but even Lake Silencio seemed to be crossing a line.

Or until the TARDIS decided to change things.

The Doctor had suggested going to the beach, and River agreed and expressed a desire to see the coral sands of Nepxo 2. They debated whether or not to arrive before or after the public nudity bans were enacted (River was all for the nudity laws while the Doctor insisted on the latter), but she let him win that one. She donned a bikini that left as little as possible to the imagination, he found a red-and-white-striped swimsuit from the 1870s that was perfectly hideous in River's terms, but the Doctor loved it.

He landed the TARDIS, and she stepped toward the doors with a blanket, umbrella, and a book while he went in search of a beach ball, bucket, and shovel. He found his favorite sand bucket beneath the console just as River stormed back into the TARDIS and tossed down her gear. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" she demanded.

The Doctor poked his head above the stairs, bucket dangling in one hand. River stood by the open door, her entire body vibrating with fury. He was quite sure she was doing her very best to send him into his next regeneration with her gaze alone, and he privately admitted she was quite stunning when she was angry. Even her curls seemed to shimmer from the force of her emotions.

"Oh, we landed in the wrong era, didn't we? Don't worry, I'll have us straightened out in a mo'." He leaped up the stairs. "Where's my beach ball?"

She strode to the console and slammed her hands over the knobs before he could do anything. "Do you not realize where you landed us?"

He barely blinked. He was used to his Pond women. "Nexpo 2. Coral beaches. Maybe a year or two away from where I planned, but you'll just have to put more clothes on, dear."

The anger drained out of her, and she suddenly looked very weary. She passed a hand over her eyes before shaking her head. She indicated the still-open door. "You might to want to verify that for yourself."

Intrigued, the Doctor forgot about the beach ball and stuck his head out the door -- not to find the coral sands of Nepxo 2 but the still shores of Lake Silencio.

He recoiled, hands gripping the door frame tightly. "I didn't bring us here." He backed away and nearly ran over River in the process. He spun and found himself staring into her eyes. "River, I didn't do this. I swear, I didn't bring us here."

River took one shuddering breath and passed her hand over the TARDIS wall closest to her. "Then she did. I'm going to change."

The Doctor placed a hand to his collar to adjust a bow tie that wasn't there. He coughed. "Yes. Well. Right, good idea."

They changed in a heavy silence that was abnormal for them both. He dressed in his tweed and bow tie, but she reached for the Western-style gear she'd worn during her second trip to Lake Silencio. Not quite the same outfit, he mused, but close enough. It was handy for the guns she was securing to herself. Two at her waist, one at the small of her back, a knife in her boot. It was on the tip of the tongue to quip that she was carrying enough weapons for a small army, but the look on her face kept him silent. They palmed Sharpies and headed for the door.

She drew her gun and slipped in front of him as they walked down the shore, and he watched her back carefully. When they reached the water's edge, she took her scanner out and slowly turned in a circle as she scanned the area. "Nothing," she said after a tense couple of minutes and holstered her gun. "We're the only people here."