When a Healer Loves a Killer

Chapter 29

      The day went by faster than I had imagined, but I suppose prepping every fit person for fighting wasn't exactly easy. Everyone looked good, and I was excited to get my house a little less crowded, even though I would probably move houses in a little bit. It's not like I hated the idea of moving, I mean, there was nothing in this house I wanted to remember anyway. My squad members and I lived here for around a year, and it would never feel the same living in this house without them.

    Surprisingly everyone was actually excited to get back to the fields, unlike me. I practically dragged myself around that house doing my duties, and I wasn't enjoying the cold shoulder Juuzou was giving me for whatever reason. I knew he wanted to fight, I really did. I just wasn't willing to risk his life ever again, especially not after I realized just how deeply I had fallen for him. I began contemplating something.

I could have sex with him tonight. I mean, it would be a way to make him remember me if nothing else. But is he still going to be doing his whole vague/cold thing to me? Because if he plans on staying angry at me, tonight isn't going to be nearly as pleasant as I thought. It's my last night before risking my life and not seeing him for like a week. He wouldn't hold a grudge before I left for something like this, would he?

      I walked into my room, closing the door and locking it before climbing on the bed and going over to Juuzou, who was reading again. I took his book and set it on the bedside table before sitting on his lap and wrapping my legs around his back. "Juuzou, you can't be mad at me before I leave, I won't allow it."

     He sighed and looked into my eyes. He just looked disappointed, which made me angry. I spoke again. "Don't you know there's nothing I can do? Look at you! I don't know why you want to fight so bad all of the sudden, but you can't!"

     I saw him clench his jaw and avert my gaze. "I heard you."

     "What?"

     "You and Akira. I heard you talking. You're putting yourself in danger for me. She wanted me to fight and now you're putting yourself in danger because of it."

     "No I'm not. I'm saving you from putting yourself in danger."

     "Yeah, by going out there and fighting! For what? You think you're saving me by putting yourself in harm's way?"

     "Yes, I do actually! If you think you'd last even an hour out there like this you're wrong! You're all I have! I can't let you die!"

     "Well you're all I have! My life would be nothing without you!"

     "Don't you understand? Neither would mine! I stand a better chance of living out there than you do! I'll be fine!"

     "That's not the point!"

     "Yes it is Juuzou! That's exactly the point! I'm in love with you! I-"

Did you really just say that?

     Juuzou and I were staring at each other in silence after my sudden confession. I really didn't want to tell him like this.

I can't believe I said that. Why the hell are we arguing about this anyways?!

     Juuzou raised his voice to only a whisper. "I love you too. Don't you know that's why I'm upset?"
     I felt tears swell in my eyes.

Don't you dare fucking cry.

I averted Juuzou's gaze. I was still sitting on his lap with my legs around him, so it wasn't exactly hard to see that I was about to cry. Juuzou cupped my face and looked at me with a worried expression. "It's okay, hey it's alright. Why are you crying? (Y/n)-chan?"