I'll Save You

Hoshi no Kakikae: Origin

    Warning: This chapter mentions and implies panic attacks and suicide. Do not read if sensitive to these topics.

    I was stupid to think that I would get a good nights rest.

    I woke up at 3 am not knowing where I was for a solid five minutes. I was sweating and crying and panic was the only thing known to me. My nightmare wasn't what I thought it would be. I thought my mind would be torturing me with memories of my friends dying right in front of my eyes, but it wasn't. It was just a blur of red, red, red.

    Somehow it was so much worse.

    I was wide awake even though I had less than three hours of sleep. She wouldn't let herself be lazy when she could be training and learning everything she could about Death Wish. Sleep wasted her time; what was the point if all it did was waste her time with things she did not wish to see?

    Lucy walked numbly out of bed; insanely aware of everything around her. She wouldn't let anything surprise her, even if she was in her home. Something that should be deemed as safe. In her mind, being unhealthily paranoid was better then being relaxed and vulnerable.

    Vulnerability would be her enemy; Lucy had decided.

    I stiffly walk to the bathroom and stripped. The scar was still there and hadn't seemed to change. It was still dark purple with the veins reaching out from it. Is it weird that I'm not as scared I should be? I'm relatively calm about the fact the I have a scar from my future self. Something that shouldn't happen as far as I'm aware of. My calmness is what scares me the most. Shouldn't I be freaking out about this? This isn't normal, so it has to be a side affect of the spell. Will it kill me? Again, It terrifies me at the fact that I'm not afraid of it killing me. I don't care if it does, as long as I bring down Death Wish before it does.

I let the scolding hot water run down my skin, turning it red in the process. The pain of the hot water distracts me from my not-so peaceful thoughts, so I welcome it. The pain relaxes me and I can't help but feel like I deserve it.

Who even was she? Lucy questioned as she dried off. She wasn't the one from two years in the future, and she definitely isn't the one who was from this time. Was she still Lucy of Fairy Tail? She didn't know why, but that just didn't sit right with her. Lucy of Fairy Tail was the bright bubbly blond who wore her heart on her sleeve. If she wasn't that, then who? Just a broken girl who'd rather push you away then tell you her true feelings?

She had gotten used to killing. That was the only way to stop the members of Death Wish because if you didn't kill them, they would kill you. No matter how injured they were.

The old Lucy hated fighting by itself and never even let the thought of killing her enemy slip through her mind. This Lucy was filled with rage and hatred and pure, raw pain. This Lucy was numb. If the only way to stop Death Wish was to kill them, then so be it. She'd deal with the guilt if it meant saving her family. She'd deal with the shit show that was now her life if it meant it could save her family. To save Natsu.

   I was sitting on my bed now with my legs crossed and my keys in my hand. I was wearing a tight white crop top with a black loose one on top of it. The leggings I was wearing were all black accept for the two white stripes on both sides, and my hair was in a high messy bun.

I quickly and quietly pulled out the key I needed and stood up. I had the power to call them without a key, but I felt like I needed to do this. I needed to feel the key in my hand to convince myself that my keys are still here, with me.

"Open gate of the southern cross! Crux!" I felt of my celestial magic that was flowing through me go faster as I called upon it.

"It's been awhile, hasn't it, dear Lucy?" I let a smile grow on my face as I race over to hug him.