I'll Save You

Breathing Again

Warning: mentions of suicide and panic attacks are in this chapter. If you are sensitive to this, do not read.

     Anxiety was flowing through my veins by the time I got to the guild doors. Every fiber in my body was telling me to run; hide and make myself as small as possible.

Is this what a panic attack feels like?

     I had a feeling that this won't be my last.

Before I had a chance to calm myself, Natsu kicked the doors open. I thought I was prepared, but I was so, so wrong. As I saw everyone laughing and smiling and alive I noticed how it was getting so much harder to control my breathing. It felt like my legs were filled with led and on top of all of that, I was glued to the floor. I hardly noticed how my eyesight was starting to blur around the edges or how my hands were shaking so much. How has no one noticed my current state? It feels like I've been standing here for such a long time.

Suddenly I get pulled back into reality when I feel a soft squeeze on my hand. I look down and see that Natsu's hand is still intertwined with mine.

"You okay, Luce?" I quickly snap my head up to meet Natsu's eyes and I suddenly regain my senses back.

I drew in a shaky breath before answering, "Yeah. I'm excited for the party! It's going to be so much fun!" It concerns me how easy it was to lie to my best friend.

"Yeah! Just, please, don't get drunk again." Natsu pleads, looking satisfied with my answer. I laugh before I walk into the guild. There's so many people I need to see; so many people I need to talk too.

"Good morning, Lu-Chan!" I unconsciously suck in my breath as I turn my head to the side to see Levy with Gajeel behind her. I can't help but let flashbacks run through my head as I see Levy's face after what had seemed like an eternity. In the future, Levy and Gajeel had a wonderful son named Gale.

He never made it to his second birthday.

When Gajeel was pierced in the heart with a spear Levy broke. The only thing that kept her going was her son, but after the enemy snapped his neck Levy couldn't take it anymore. I remember how I tried to stop her; I tried so hard, but she was already dead before she even shot herself.

"Good morning, Levy-Chan! Gajeel!" I smile as I hug Levy. I can tell this act surprised her but nevertheless I felt her arms wrap around me as well. I briefly wondered how I could make it the whole day without going into a full-on sobbing mess. I reluctantly let go and give her and Gajeel one last smile before I walk back to Natsu who was picking a fight with Gray. As I was about to walk over to them I bump into someone.

"Sorry, Lucy-San! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." I recognize the voice immediately and before I could stop myself I wrapped my arms around her in a bone-crushing hug. I know our relationship in this timeline isn't as close, so this might be a little awkward for her. Even so, I kept on hugging her.

"Let go of her child! You're crushing her half to death!" I quickly let go and see Carla. Her death came early and was quick. Death Wish didn't give her the time of day (as they so kindly put it) and gave her a headshot. I think a part of Wendy broke that day as she saw one of the only constant figures in her life die. I'll take the responsibility of never letting that happen and to always be by her side no matter what. That's a celestial promise.

    I quickly let go and apologize, "Oh! I'm so sorry, Wendy!". She gives me a warm smile which is the first one I've seen in weeks.

    "It's alright, Lucy-San. I told Mira-San that I would make a cake for the party, so I better get going."

    "Have fun! See you at the party." I wave goodbye and walk over to Gray. Gray is like a brother to me, so when I saw that half of his body was missing I realized how much I took for granted; how much I had in my life and I didn't even realize it,

    Before I get a chance to talk to him I decided that I need to talk to Juvia first. She died a short few hours after Gray did. When she was slowly evaporating all she did was smile; a smile that had to be one of the most saddest, broken smiles I've ever seen.

    "Hi, Juvia! How are you?" I remember how Juvia and I didn't talk much at this time and I wanted to change that.

    She gives me a surprised look before answering, "Hello, Love-Rival. I am doing very good. Thank you for asking." In the future, Gray and Juvia finally get together. I am very proud to admit that I helped push Gray into confessing to her. After that, Juvia and I became great friends.

    "You know, I hope you and Gray get together. If you need help, don't be afraid with asking me." I smile as I walk away leaving her in shock.

    I tap Gray on the shoulder and I feels tears pluck at my eyes but I make sure to quickly wipe them away without gaining any attention. Gray turns around and greets me with a smile.

    "Hey, Lucy. Exited for the party?"

    It takes everything in me to not hug him and I somehow succeed, "Yup! Are you planning on asking Juvia to dance with you?" I smirk as I see his face blush pink. I asked him last time and even though he denied me, he did ask her to dance. "I think that would make her really happy."

    "I- uhh. Maybe?" I look up in surprise. This is not what he told me last time. Could I already be changing the future? But how?

    "Really?! That's great!" He smiles at me and walks off to pick a fight with Natsu again. I take a step back in shock about what just happened. As I take a step back I knock into something hard. I turn around to see Erza. I feel a bright smile coming upon my face as I see her. Forgetting about my worries.

    "Hey Erza! I heard Wendy will be making a cake! You excited?" I see her eyes sparkle at the mention of the cake. I can't help but release a small laugh at that. Last time, she ate the whole cake and still wanted more.

    "Hello Lucy. Indeed I am. After all, Wendy does make the best cake." I can't help the smile on my face as it grows wider. God, I've missed her so much.

    "Yes, yes she does." I tell her before I excuse my self. I need to see a certain group of siblings before my anxiety of this all being a cruel dream can melt away. I see all them near the bar laughing and talking. I can't help but add a little skip to my step as I walk towards them.

    "Good morning, Lisanna, Mira, Elfman!" They all look over at me and smile.

    "Good morning Lucy-San!" Lisanna greets me. During this time, Lisanna and I become great friends and I couldn't help but feel lucky at how many amazing friends I have.

    "Good morning, Lucy. Do want anything?" I smile at her and shake my head. I want to save my appetite for the party.

    "Morning's are for men!" I laugh while shaking my head once again. It's so nice to see everyone again. To see everyone laughing without a care in the word.

    To see everyone breathing again.

    I can't help but feel how nice it was to breathe again, too.

    I am so, so, sorry! This chapter is really late! These past few weeks haven't been good and I needed a break from well- everything. I'm sorry this chapter is so boring! I wanted A chapter where Lucy can see all of her friends again and explain it in some detail. Next chapter will come sooner and be more interesting, I promise!
    I hope everyone has a beautiful day!