I'll Save You

A Part Of Me

    Warning: descriptions of Suicide.

She didn't know what to do.

    Every breathe she took, every blink, touch, thought all felt so wrong, wrong, wrong. She felt so guilty and she didn't know what to do.

     One tear. She couldn't even give that much to Yukino. Once she got home, she went straight to bed not even bothering to change or brush her teeth. She didn't see the point of using up her energy when she was practically running on nothing.

    Lucy wanted to cry, but the tears never came. She wanted to sob and cry and scream and just let everything out. But the tears wouldn't come, so Lucy just stared at her ceiling, hardly blinking. She stared and stared and stared, trying to feel something. No, not something; because right now, she was feeling everything and nothing at the same time. Lucy just wanted know what she was feeling.

    Her mind was a blank void; a never ending pit of emptiness, and Lucy kept on falling, falling, falling and she wondered if she'd ever reach the bottom. If she did, would she be able to actually feel something, or would it become worse? She wanted to find out. She didn't want to find out.

    Lucy feels empty. Like there's a part of her missing; a part that she didn't even know was there until it wasn't. She doesn't know what to do, so she does nothing.

    The world around her was a lot duller than it used to be. Lucy remembers a time where everything was filled with so much life and color. She doesn't know if she misses it; in this hallow state of mind Lucy can't really take it upon herself to notice, or care.

    Lucy wants to stay awake, or maybe she wants to sleep forever. She thinks she deserves the exhaustion that she constantly feels, but she can't help but feel the temptation it is to just give in to sleep.

    So she does.

    Lucy finds herself in a field of red flowers. She's next to a river and there Lucy sees a young girl with with below the shoulder black wavy hair and silver eyes. Next to the girl is someone she knows all to well. Aquarius is standing next to the girl, an amusing look settling across her face. The girl gives Aquarius the look back, but this one has an innocence that only someone as young as her can have. Someone who hasn't faced the cruel world quite just yet.

    Lucy looks, finding she can't talk. It wouldn't matter anyway, it seems like they can't see her. Lucy isn't there; not to them, not to anyone but herself. So she watches, observing, because this is not like the dreams she's had the past few months. These are a lot more clear, the puzzle is finishing and all she has to do is wait for the pieces to find each other. To find her.

    "So what's your name, girl?" The spirit demands more than asks.

    The girl laughs at the spirit, a smile gracing her face, "Well aren't you demanding?" The silver eyed girl teases. Aquarius scoffs at this, clearly starting to get annoyed. "My name is Ayumi Ikari. I hope we can be friends!" The water bearer seems shocked at this, and Lucy understands why. It's rare for mages to want to become friends with their spirits. This does not shock Lucy, but what surprises her is the name. She feels the pieces come together at a rapid rate, but she still feels like it's incomplete. Like an unfinished art piece just begging to be finished, to become complete.

    Ayumi Ikari: The girl that helped create HNK. The women who saved her village only to die a year later. Lucy feels a sadness in her at the death of Ayumi. She can't help but feel like she knows that kind women. Lucy feels a connection to the girl, one that she can't understand nor can explain, but for now, she's okay with that.