Broken and (Un) loved

Part 4 (yoongi pov) :

As days passed on I felt like I was just on a constant cycle. Days would be a blur and every day it was just the same thing at school. At home, I would hear things from my family nonstop and was seriously questioning my musical abilities if I could make it big- or much at all to be honest. As for a backup plan, it was not going well along because no subjects interested me. I did not want to spend my life doing some random job I hated but I really did not like anything.

I wished I could do something meaningful and make my parents proud but at the same time, I wanted to be happy. As I tried to delve deeper into my own interests I realized I was lost, I did not fully know myself. Did I even like music that much? Of course, it was my life and I loved it from a young age when I played piano and then progressed to writing my lyrics and learning to rap. But was it a passion? Or just a childish hobby? How would I know?

As I continued life on autopilot mode often numb but oscillating between small bouts of happiness and constant worries, I realized I finally earned enough money to buy a small gift for my girlfriend- it was a pretty bracelet. She loved these types of jewelry and would point them out often in the windows of stores. Excitedly, I put the bracelet in a nicely wrapped box. I texted her to meet up during my study hall and gave her her gift.

I expected a smile yet as she opened it she scoffed. "This is what you have been working for? It would take just a few weeks to earn to buy this. What have you really been doing?" she demanded in an angry tone.

"Well, I actually have a second job but it is music". I scratched my head nervously and looked down. "I want to become an artist and produce music and rap and all.." as I continued she burst out laughing. I had never told her my dreams since my parents hurt me but I told her because I thought she would support me.  Though, she seemed not care much about it right now.

"You expect me to believe this shit? You could never make it big, but I bet you have been cheating on me and this is a lame excuse". What?? Cheat on her? "No no no I could never. I can show you my music equipment!" I protested.

"I don't wanna hear your lies anymore. Go spend all your time with your other girls, okay? I'm outta here Yoongi I cannot believe I am with you after such lies and pathetic goals. How can you not get a job and support yourself and us?  Instead, you want to throw your future away. Fine, I won't suffer with you though, I deserve better- I deserve a real man" she spat. Her words sunk like daggers deep into my heart. She was right, she deserved better. Better than me- a hopeless, lost, boy who did not have a clue anymore about life.

I was left with the gift in my hands as she headed out. I dropped to the ground helplessly. I could believe she just left me. She stormed off to her next class. My heart ached. I wanted to cry. All I did was give a gift yet I was accused of cheating and dumped. Carrying a heavy heart, I walked to my next class with my head down.