Broken and (Un) loved

Part 16 (Yoongi pov):

Although lately, things had been looking positive. Today, my mother came home in a rage. She said she got a bill apparently while driving, I skipped a toll on the highway and she had to pay a hefty fine. She told me all I do was make problems and she wished I could do anything to help her instead I was adding onto her issues and work she had to get done each day and that in my age I should try to help her and reduce her workload not add onto it. I felt bad.

When my father came home she told him and he lectured me again and called me pathetic and a sorry excuse for a boy my age and he asked if I age backwards and if I am losing my brain. It hurt, the words hurt. They even brought back the old words my parents had said over the course of time to replay in my mind. I was sorry yet they said to not give them excuses as it would not change anything. I headed to my room.

I wanted to text Y/n and tell her I was upset yet I did not want to burden her. The words were starting again. Honestly, I felt it. I was truly a pathetic person. I was worthless, never had I done anything right. Never would they be proud of me. Never could I make it into this world. Never could I make anyone happy. I was just a burden to feed and shelter who consumed free things yet I gave back only problems in return. I could not even make my ex happy. It was all terrible. I would want to die but I could not cut with glass-like last time because my parents were home and I could not drink.

An idea popped into my head and I ended up acting upon it and taking half a bottle worth of aspirin. And who knew if I were to wake again. So I sent a message "Y/n, I am sorry and thanks for everything and being so kind to me" I sent that and closed my eyes hoping to never wake again.

I woke up to many texts by Y/n she was frantically worried. I checked the time. I had overslept. My body hurt. Everything was dizzy. I collapsed on the bed. I was sure my parents were at work and I had already missed half of school what was the point. I just went back to bed.

I got up later and found myself staring at my wall. I was just contemplating life. The point of life and if I could ever see anything going for me. It seemed all bleak. Everything was looking so impossible nowadays, and my musical skills were also declining. I was not able to play many pieces and symphonies anymore due to 'forgetfulness'.

Honestly, even if I did make it ever, these words would forever haunt me. I felt this feeling would destroy me before I can kill it. Somehow, I was in my head the whole day and slept again.

The next day was not that different. When my parents checked on me I lied I was just sick and they left me alone. It was me and my thoughts and I felt alone again.

I only truly felt bad for ignoring Y/n but I did not want to tell her this. She would not handle me at my worst. It would annoy her I thought. I ended up just sleeping in it had been two days and I felt like I was sinking and falling and this was not headed well.