Broken and (Un) loved

Part 28 (Y/n pov):

Today was our anniversary, yet I was at his funeral. Tears ran down my face as if they were Niagara Falls. I missed him so much already. I would easily die for him but I knew after our joint struggle with his suicide attempts he would not like for me to do so. He always called me an angel or someone who changed his life. Yet, now he was MY angel, literally watching me from heaven.

I got up to speak a few words. "I loved him. I just always wanted him to be happy. Yet, sadly when he finally got to see how beautiful how life could be this joy was mot fated to last long in his life. He battled many issues and overcame the, and was very strong. Yet, life had other things in mind and killed him. Now he is my angel and I am just hoping he will watch over at me and smile" I finished my speech with more tears streaming down my face.

As I sat back, I kept thinking of him. Many spoke words form his family, but I knew that he didn't even like them. They did not even truly know him they didn't deserve to be here. So many had caused him problems. I saw his ex had arrived too.

After everyone was done I got up again.

"I just want to say I am proud of how he proved everyone wrong and fought to pursue his dreams. He made it". Everyone clapped with tears in their eyes. As I said those words I looked his ex and parents in their eyes. They knew. They knew I knew. They deserved this though. They had hurt him. I wanted to do this for him because I knew he always wanted to prove them wrong. He would have done this about his contract with Big Hit, he would have wanted this.

Soon, we were lowering him and burying him. What should have been our kisses and anniversary was him leaving me rather than staying.

A cold breeze overcame me. Yet, I felt surprisingly warm, just like with him. I could have sworn I smelt his scent for a minute- I would recognize it anywhere. I truly felt like he was with me. I turned my head so fast to my side in hopes of seeing him. Yet, it was obviously empty.

I was about to spill more tears but noticed my bracelet he had given me when I agreed to be his had slipped from my arm and was on the floor- really close to his casket. Was it a sign? Was he here? Was he watching over me? I looked up at the sky and waved like a maniac. I was crying but waving as if to say, "Yoongi baby, my angel, do you see me? I love you babe"

And then, just then, for a minute I knew it would be alright. He was with me. He always was. He was in my heart forever. I could never love anyone the way I loved him. He was more than my first love or my best friend. He was my everything. He made me the happiest I had ever been to. The shy new girl to HIS girl. From our study dates, café runs, late-night conversations, dates looking at the stars and all the simple things to just hearing his music. Everything. He was the love of my life. If I was the goddess who brightened his life he was my king.