DARK SOUL'S: The Story You Started

ETHAN

Later that night I couldn't sleep right away.
Why this thing is bothering me so much? She is here for the project.
I was trying to convince myself again and again but still, I couldn't help but think about what Dean had said, What Dad was trying to tell me? What I faced earlier with her? I don't know how to deal with all of this, there are a bunch of questions in my head.
On Sunday morning, as per our routines on all other Sundays and all habits, My dad and I were playing, watching sports and movies, and eating all the time.
Dad was telling me stories about their college friends, their playing tactics, and all those bachelor’s things. 
"You know Ethan sometimes we don't feel the way we should have to and we don't even like it, but that's what we should have to feel," He said. I was startled by that sudden change in the subject. We sat in the backyard in front of the shore like I used to do it in my childhood. We do it all the time since then. It is the place where my life exists.  

"Yeah, and what’s this philosophy says about," I said with humour. He laughed at that and slapped on the back of my head.
“Dad!!” I whined as I rubbed it.
"Shut up, I know you are a practical guy and you don't understand philosophy, perhaps you should read books except about architecting or delivering software, graphics, and coding of course!" He taunted, I rolled my eyes at that He is always complaining about these things.
"I am starving dad!  Can we just eat now?" I avoided his so- called-read-some-good-things stuff and get up to leave.
"Yeah of course! But you know you really are crap on turning topics," He yelled behind my back.
I was thinking constantly about, The things he said or whatever he was trying to say. I know he can feel my anxiety but he won’t ask me, maybe he knows what it is all about and didn’t bother to ask me anything.
I know tomorrow will be a big day for me too; as it is for him and maybe for her too, The meeting thing is a really scary one for me, It is not like I didn’t have any but I guess it feels different than any other one.
I don't know why I am feeling this way? Why I am behaving this way and it is scaring me to death!
Of course, I had things in my past as I said. That thing cut me deep down and has taken the impossible time to heal me. But I know one thing for sure, after that; I don't dwell into the things.
But this thing seems like to attract me in its own way, and it feels superbly ridiculous to go away from this.