Her & her

I Wish

Just your name brings a smile to my face

I've known nothing greater than the weight of your head resting upon my shoulder

As we watch the world go by

Sitting together

Just

You and I

No stories make me laugh like yours do

No smile lights up my life like yours does

No simple human presence has ever stilled my soul like yours does

I wish we had more time

I wish we had more mornings together

Lazily watching So You Think You Can Dance and Tabatha Takes Over

And eating your mom's Special K cereal

While sinking into your comfy, brown, leather couch, the one that you say we once ate Nutella straight out of the jar behind

With feet entwined by more than just half-worn, multi-coloured ankle socks

I wish we had more days together

Not just the romantic days of summer

Where smiles are bigger

Where hearts soar higher

Where rosy cheeks meet sun-kissed skin

And the thin mountain air and the summer heat leave no respite

Not even stretched out in the cool shade of the hammock trees

But also the days where we walk through the woods,

Bundled up against the cold,

Fallen leaves crunching beneath our feet

Admiring the beauty surrounding us

Giggling in the face of the imposing estate on the hill above us

I wish we had more time

I wish we had more nights together

When we would curl up in your big four-poster bed

Neglecting its purple butterfly sheets in favour of the serene summer air

Letting it hold us,

Caress us,

Gentle and warm

The bright lights of the sprawling city throwing abstract orange beams across your walls

The faint smell of smoke drifting in through your open bedroom window

The distant threat of fire dispelled by the comfort and safety of each other

The neighbouring hills afire so distant from our perfect, naïve little world

Of two

I wish we had more time together,

More than a week for each of us,

More than two for the pair

I wish for more evenings where we laid side by side on the chipped concrete floor under the ribcage of that old church,

Our sanctuary from the harsh reality of the world

And the downtrodden city beyond those four walls,

Aching from a day's satisfying work

My nails black from working in the rows upon rows of strawberries, squash, and tomatoes

Your back aching from digging holes and pouring concrete

Our shoulders both a tender pink

Our last thoughts of the sleeping bodies surrounding us,

Of the early morning before us,

And the laughter of the day

I wish we had more time

I wish for more nights where we could whisper across to one another from neighbouring bunks

Still smiling from shared laughs,

Still hearing those fireworks even though it was only the first of July,

Still giggling too much to fall asleep

Nights where we were close

Always within reaching distance of the other

Always within easy sight of you

And

You of me

Allowing us to reassure ourselves that we were well and truly there

Together

For once

Just

You and I

I wish for so much

Mornings where I was so content

Days where I felt so loved

Afternoons where I was so at peace

Evenings where I felt so happy

Nights where I never felt safer

I wish we had more time

But we don't

Instead

We can only live in each and every moment

Soak up every smile

Lean into every laugh

While holding on so long

And though it feels like every word will be our last

And every touch is never to be had again

We know we have today

And for now

That is enough

Time is cruel

Fate is not kind

Your begging only hastens Her whip

As She does not care for your pain or your tears

So I will be still with you,

Enjoy the silence,

Revel in the chaos,

Languish in the light of the love I crave,

And

Wish for more time