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#15- But For Real, Have You Seen Jeff Probst Circa 2002?

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Hello Elizabeth

This seems to be my nightly routine

A drink, watching old episodes of Survivor, fawning over young Jeff Probst with my mother and sisters

-Well I'm the only one fawning but that's beside the point-

A drink, Survivor, and staying up until the highway is silent reading over old poems and writing new ones

Some of them are about you

I seem to write about you

To you

A lot

You're my best friend and I love you

You're my soulmate and I love you

         -Are platonic soulmates a thing? They must be because what else are we? I can't let us be anything else-

I love you so much I cry every time I think about how much I love you

I don't know if I've ever told you but I would do anything for you

If someone broke your heart I would form a posse of my most trusted most secretly yearning to be a little bit evil girls

-and I know many-

and we will ruin that man's day

every day

for however many years you loved him

For everyday you loved him

We will remind him of why you are perfect and beautiful and just how badly he fucked up

Everyday we will send him images of you looking drop dead gorgeous

-but let's be honest, when aren't you?-

Oh and if anyone ever sends you an unsolicited dick pic, I will learn how to code and I will create a program that sends back a picture of an even bigger dick every time he messages you

Because I love you

And I truly would do anything for you

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