Her & her

Me

1.

I have closed the encyclopedia of Her

I am finishing the poem of her

I am writing the book of Me

She was an explosion that seared my skin and filled my lungs with poisonous smoke

she is the multi-colored life I dream of filling my home

I am a forest fire

I burn like She did

I throw light against the walls like paint

I create like she does

She burned me to an ash that will fertilize the seeds of my rebirth

Watered by her hands

From the ashes of my destruction, I am born again

2.

To Her

You were the fire that burned down the car wash in the middle of town in May of 2009

You were sudden, unexpected

In my first glimpse of you

I saw your choking black smoke on the horizon and stood in terror

Frost coursed through my veins at the glint in your eyes and the way you held your chin

You walked through the door of our classroom

And I hated you

But when I felt the heat of your flames fueled by the chemicals stored within

I fell in love with the fact that you made me feel real

I became obsessed with the tingle of the heat you produced as it danced it's way down my fingers

So much so that I ignored your smoke as it sunk it's way into my brain, even though it poisoned my own thoughts against me

So much so that I marveled at your mushroom cloud explosions, even when they left third degree burns across my chest

So much so that I laughed with you as pointed out the flaws in other girls, even though that only made me hate myself more

So much so that I defended you no matter what you said or who you hurt, even when that person was me

Instead of running the other way

Instead of calling the fire department or the very least turning on the garden hose

Instead of doing anything else

I let you burn me to ash

3.

To her

You are the succulents I dream of decorating my first apartment with

Resilient to drought

But still in need of a gentle touch and humble heart

Hands that I am still teaching to be soft