It has been one year since I realized I loved you
One year since I was left to pick up the pieces I didn't know you had left behind
One year since I finally found the piece you tore from my desperate hands and bleeding soul
One year since I began to finally, finally , put myself back together again
It has been six years since you walked away from me
Leaving me shattered in the hallway of our high school
Six years since I asked Emily if she thought it seemed like you were avoiding me
Six years since Caroline told me those horrid words of yours
Six years since my world ended
It has been eight years since we met
Eight years since you joined our chicken island
Eight years since you first stole Hannah from me
Eight years since you then stole my heart
Georgina I am no longer the same girl you broke
It has been 6 months since you last owned my heart
It has been 5 months since I read Firestorm and thought of you
Did you knowc I wrote that about you?
Why else do you think Death wore a cloak of burnt orange?
It has been four months since I almost bought an orange shirt for myself before habit closed the tab
It has been three months since I found that old Christmas photo of us all in your living room
Did you have any idea how depressed I was that night?
Why do you think I wore my father's over sized Maryland sweatshirt while the rest of you were in your Christmas best?
It has been two months since I thought of you
It has been one month since I realized I no longer missed you
Did you know I still missed you?
Why do you think I still defended you?
My father once told me he was convinced you tried to destroy me on purpose
I think I believe him now
It has been eight years since you entered my life in a whirlwind of loud voices, fake laughter, and cruel jealously
It has been six years since you abandoned me the only time I asked for your help
It has been one year since I took back control
It has been one month since I no longer needed you or the pain you created
It has been 5 minutes since I wrote your name for the first time since you left me with nothing but even more self-hatred
It has been 1 minute since I realized I am free of you
YOU ARE READING
Her & her
PoetryAn intimate look into my journey from the perfect Catholic girl with internalized homophobia to a girl who is almost okay with her queer identity. Features poems on my journey of self-discovery and acceptance through my struggles with mental health...
