Unfortunately Fated

Chapter 18

Jonathan

      The first week was the hardest. I was constantly fighting back tears, day in and day out. I stayed with Maxwell's family and they tried to console me the best they could but it never worked. I felt empty and void, having to fight the urge to turn over and just get rid of all my feelings. I wore Maxwell's clothes every day but slowly the scent was faded. After a month or so the scent was gone. I was still holding on, sitting by my phone, waiting. I called him, and sent him messages even if he didn't respond I hope that he would listen to them. It was a never-ending pain, but it didn't hurt as much. I still felt empty, and alone. Antonius was basically gone, I could no longer feel him. Taylor would check on me every day, but it didn't matter. 

      It got so bad, I had wished he died. At least then I knew that Olivia was gone. I knew where she was buried and I knew she wasn't coming back. But now knowing my mate is alive, and well. At least I think. But knowing that he was purposefully ignoring me, hurt me even more. There were days I wished I was dead. I remember a day not having the strength to stand, so I took a bath. I submerged myself, just to feel something, but I felt nothing. I didn't have the strength to sit myself up. If it wasn't for Augusta barging in, I would have died. 

6 months later

        My alarm started blaring, I slowly gathered the strength to turn the clock off. I didn't sleep, I haven't slept all through the night in months. I pushed myself out of the bed and walked slowly to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and my usual look was dark circles, uncut hair, and sloppy beard. I washed my face and hoped in and took a cold shower. Once I was out I put on a pair of low hanging sweatpants, no shirt. I just got back in the bed and stared at the ceiling. Bellamy left a few months ago, and that was the last time I left this room. It was the summertime now and school was over. Most of my grades slipped but somehow I managed to keep my GPA intact. I didn't apply to many colleges or anything I knew I wouldn't be leaving. My training for being the pack doctor had come to a halt. My dad would call, I would never answer. I didn't feel motivated to do anything. Especially days like this. There was a knock on the door and it was Taylor, like clockwork. "Hey Jonathan, are we getting up today?" She asked softly and came and sat down at the end of the bed. "I took a shower." I turned over and faced my back to her. "A hot one?" She asked me questioningly. "No." 

        She got into the bed next to me and laid down. She did this every day. "Okay, so we are just going to lay here again today?" She asked me this every day. "I guess." I shrugged at her. "Well I-" She started talking but the door swung open. I could sense tension coming off of Taylor, and a scent hit my nose that I haven't smelled in a very long time. The pain immediately came back and I couldn't breathe. I didn't even turn to look at him. "Max? Your back." Taylor sat up, moving closer to me, trying to keep my calm. "Yeah, I just got back." I could feel his eyes burning a hole in my back, him being so close to me after all this time. "How was it? The mission." Taylor asked him, Maxwell slowly moved into the room but I growled. I didn't have to look to see that he stopped walking. What he didn't know was that my eyes had a permanent red ring around them. Antonius was there but wasn't at the same time. He gave up, and so did I. Maxwell's scent started to consume everything around me, that one scent that used to pull me in. Now is killing me and filling me with disgust and anger. "It was alright. We got everyone out safely, the rogue Alpha is dead. So the mission is finally over." 

        "You should just go back. No one needs you here." I thought it was quiet enough but I guess not. I heard Maxwell whimper, but I didn't care. He didn't care about me. "I think I should just go." Taylor slowly sat up and started to move away. "I'm coming with you. I need to get out of here." I got up out of the bed with my back to him still. I grabbed a shirt and threw it on. I grabbed my phone and my bag and I waited for Taylor to get up. "Jonathan, I think you should stay and talk. Look, I will just wait for you in the living room." Taylor basically ran out of the room and closed the door. I ran my fingers through my hair and leaned my head against the wall. I needed to get away from him as soon as possible. It was dead silent, neither of us talking. It was like we were strangers. But I guess we basically are. It's like I don't know who this guy is standing across from me. "Jonathan." Him just saying my name made me ache. I turned my head slightly, he couldn't see my face but I could see his. I almost forgot how beautiful he was. But he looked just as distraught as me. His eyes were surrounded by black circles. His hair, not as lively and full like that usually are. He looked tired, defeated, just like me. 

        "Um, how, how have you been?" I scoffed at him, what kind of question is that? "How have I been? What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" Though my voice was low, it still got the point across. He could feel my anger. "I don't know what to say." He started fiddling with his fingers, looking everywhere but me. "How about starting with why you left and didn't say goodbye. Or say anything at all. No call, no text, no nothing for six months." Maxwell stayed silent and walked closer to me but I backed away from him. I didn't want him anywhere near me ever again. "It was selfish of me to do that to you. I should have called or something. I just thought because we left on weird terms that night, you'd rather me just leave you alone." All I could do was laugh at that response. He can't actually believe that, can he? "Are you serious. You think I wouldn't want to talk to you for six months because we got into a little fight? If you actually believe that you are genuinely the worst mate I have ever seen." I scoffed and pushed myself off the wall. I turned to him and we made eye contact for the first time in forever. I wanted him to see what he did to me while he was gone. He looked in my eyes and confusion covered his face. "Your eyes? Why are they red?" 

        "You know why." I went to put my shoes on ignoring his stares. "Why, why would you do that?" I could feel the anger bubble inside me and I was about to explode. "Because you left! I had no idea when you were coming back, or if you would. I would rather you have died than knowing you're alive and purposefully ignoring me. So yeah, I gave in a little. It helped me cope with the fact my mate disappeared, and my mate doesn't care about me." I went to walk to the door, but in order to do that, I had to walk past him. He grabbed my arm and it burned my skin. The pleasure mixed with pain was too much. I immediately pulled my arm away from him. I gave him the deadliest glare and growl I possibly could. I extended my fangs showing how serious I was and I would not hesitate to kill him if he touched me again. Fear was all I saw in his eyes and recognition. He was recognizing that his little precious mate was no longer there. "I care about you, Jonathan. I love you." 

         Those three words were like daggers in my heart. Those words were supposed to make me the happiest I'd ever felt, and yet somehow he ruined another special moment for me. Something in me clicked and all I saw was red. Before I could stop myself my hands found a way around his neck and I pushed him against the wall choking him. He was gasping for air as my hand tightened around his neck. "Don't you ever say that to me again. Do you understand?" I kept banging his head against the wall, I wanted to stop but AI physically couldn't. I just saw red and he was the object of my pain and I wanted it gone. "Hey! What's going on in here?" Taylor opened the door and immediately ran to me trying to pull me off of him. "Jonathan stop! Antonius let him go! You'll kill him!" Taylor got in between our chest and was using all her strength to push me off of him. "He deserves to die," I said through gritted teeth. I could feel myself changing more into my Lycan, Antonius was so close to taking over. But before I could Taylor did and immediately pushed me off and growled at me. After a few moments she calmed down and so did I. Maxwell was on the floor trying to catch his breath, and I could see a bruise around his neck already forming. I didn't feel sorry for him though, he deserved it. "Maxwell, if I were you I would never say that again. Unless you actually want to die. I can't promise you I'll be here to save you next time." Taylor said panting, looking at Maxwell laying on the floor. "Jonathan, pack a bag you can stay with me."

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