The Sound of Summer

8. I Never Got Your Name

My head throbbing against my skull is what wakes me up in the morning. I don't hurry to open my eyes, because I know whatever light is waiting for me on the other side of my eyelids just might very well be the end of me.

When I do open them, I keep my eyes fixed downwards to avoid getting to much light in at once. It 's only when I muster up the courage to open them fully, and hate myself for immediately, that I realize someone's body is pressed against me.

I don't recognize the room at all, but I remember last night enough to know I never left AJ's place. His hand is cupping my breast and I quickly move it away. I guess I'm so used to Dre doing it, I might've told or let AJ do it too. When I turn around, I see AJ fast asleep beside me and all of a sudden the memories come flooding back to me all at once.

Fighting with Dre, the things I said to him. AJ's brother and the things I said to and about him. And god AJ. I kissed AJ.

The guilt, shame and embarrassment momentarily eases me from the discomfort of my hangover, though not for very long. I carefully slide my way out of the bed, trying not to wake him up. When I'm safely out, he repositions himself to fill up the free space.

I'm lucky to find some water and aspirin on the bedside table. I know exactly who left these here and I'm hoping by the grace of god that he's still asleep. I tap my pocket and feel that my phone is still there, though the battery is dead. I take the pill and drink all the water.

My stomach groans in response and I know today is going to be a hard day. Well, I guess this is the price I pay for going overboard. As I grab my shoes on and tip toe out of AJ's room I swear to myself that I will never drink again.

As I walk towards the exit, I'm relieved to see his brother's bedroom door still closed. Thank god, that was a level of embarrassment I wasn't ready to reach. I'm almost at the door when a voice scares me half to death.

"Leaving without saying goodbye? After everything we've been through? Honestly, I'm hurt," AJ's brother says from behind me. Fuck all the way off, I think, and slowly turn around to see him sat behind the kitchen counter eating something delicious. I become aware of the smells in the apartment, and clutch on to my stomach as it complains. I stay put and don't even offer him an awkward smile. I let my embarrassment shine through and don't try to hold it back.

"Can we just pretend like last night didn't happen? Please," I say, so mortified that I swear I could shit myself. He chuckles softly as he takes a bite of what I realize is a bacon egg and cheese.

Fuck that looks good.

I walk towards him but stop a few steps short of the counter.

"Which part," he says and I know what ever is coming next is going to be pure torment, "the part where your boyfriend punched me in the face? or the part where you kissed my little brother? Oh or maybe, and this is the best part, when you called me Daddy," he recites, clearly taking far too much joy in my embarrassment.

I don't have anything to counter, don't have anyway of rebutting nor do I care to really.

"Difficult choices. I'm gonna go with D all of the above." He laughs at my response and takes another bite, not taking his eyes off me for a moment. He looks like he could sooner be eating me. He offers me a cheeky smile, but no words to ease some of my discomfort.

"And He's not my boyfriend anymore," I say after a long while, though I'm not entirely sure why it's important for me to say it out-loud.

The realization hits me like a tsunami and suddenly I'm distressed. He must see it on my face because he decides to give me a break.