Teach Me | H.S

Chapter 33

*Isabella's POV* 

I'm not a slut. I'm not. I know I'm not. I am still a virgin, hell I have never even kissed a guy. How can I be a slut? 

"For all I know you could be a little slut just like her" his words played over and over in my head, driving me crazy. 

"I'm not a slut" I mumbled to myself, "I'M NOT!" I yelled to my own reflection, throwing my hairbrush at the glass. I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling at the roots and throwing my head back in frustration. Harry didn't think I was a slut did he? He was only angry at Ava for cheating on him for so long, he was heartbroken and he was lashing out at whoever was nearest to him, and that just happened to be me. He didn't mean it, I'm sure he didn’t. 

I continued to try and convince myself as I tied my hair into a loose bun on the top of my head, not bothering to dry it after my shower. I shimmied into my pyjama shorts, threw an old t-shirt over the top and headed downstairs. It was only 9pm, so I still had a while before I started to get tired and head to bed. I padded into the kitchen and grabbed a bag of popcorn before heading to the living room and plopping myself down on the sofa. It took me about 5 minutes to find a programme which looked acceptable but once I had made my choice on an episode of Cake Boss I lounged back on the chair and began stuffing popcorn in my mouth faster than was probably healthy or natural. It wasn't long before I was drooling over the delicious creations they were making on the programme, I found myself craving cake and I made it my personal mission to visit Carlo's Bakery and clear them out of every cake they had.

Just as I was about to dive my hand back into the popcorn bag when the doorbell pulled me away from my peaceful evening to myself. I sighed and sat the bag on the table, fixing my t-shirt which had ridden up slightly as I had slumped further down the couch. I brushed some stray strands of hair out of my eyes before grabbing to door handle and pulling the door open.

"Ok before you say anything and you scream and tell me to leave because I am such as huge jackass please hear me out" he rambled before I even had a chance to open my mouth. He held his hand up in what was either a sign of peace or self-defence I wasn't quite sure.

"I'm not going to scream at you Harry" I said quietly and the look of relief that washed over his face almost made me want to smile at him... almost.

"Really?" he asked, relieved.

"Yeah, I don't see the point in yelling at you, it won't get us anywhere. And I don't want to yell at you after the day you have had" I say honestly. I didn’t want to yell and scream at him when he had just found out the girl he loved and was going to propose to was cheating on him, I didn't want to put him off girls for life. I couldn't do that to the female population.

"Thank you. Thank you so much Izzy" he beamed. I smiled slightly and stepped to the side to let him in. He stepping inside and I shut the door behind him.

"You're welcome" I said.

"No, not just for not yelling at me, for everything" he said and I frowned at him. "Izzy you have been there for me for near enough 6 months now. You were there when I needed you the most. When I was so alone that I even shut out my family and friends. Izzy I was so horrible to my family that they won't even talk to me anymore. I know that you want to know about my past and what happened with my family but there isn't much to tell. I was as much of a dick to them as I was to you when I first met you. I pushed everyone away because I thought I could do it alone, I thought I could handle it but I couldn't, I just couldn't Izzy. Everything started to become too much and that was why I started cutting, I wanted to hurt myself as much as I had hurt everyone else. But hurting them was never as difficult as it was when I saw the look on your face the first day I left you. That look that you had in your eye when I walked away from you killed me inside Izzy, it was awful" he rambled, flailing his arms around as he tried to express his feelings and I must admit I was slightly confused as to where this was coming from.

"I don't understand" I said slowly, taking a seat at the kitchen island while Harry stood at the other side of the table. He sighed deeply, tugging at the ends of his hair before continuing.

"Izzy I... I-I think..." he stuttered before groaning. "God why is this so hard?" he sighed and tried again.

"Izzy I think I'm falling in love with you" he said, his hands fiddling nervously with each other as his eyes look everywhere but at me. My breath hitched in my throat as his words finally sunk in.

"Harry look at me" I said quietly, standing from my chair. He did as I asked.

"Isabella I love you" he repeated with more determination in his voice.

I shook my head, smiling slightly and Harry's face fell, his heart visibly breaking for the second time today.

"You don't love me Harry" I said.

"I do, I know I do! I have never been more certain of anything in my life Izzy! I love you". He argued.

"Harry only this morning you said you were in love with Ava. You are only saying this because you are hurting, you don't know what love is" I said.

"Yes I do! Love is what I feel when I am with you" he said.

"Harry how can you possibly say you love me? You admitted yourself only a few moments ago that you haven't told me anything about your past, I hardly know anything about you Harry," I said, slightly louder to emphasise my point, "you don't know what love is" I repeated.

"Then teach me Isabella! Show me what love is!" he begged. 

"I can't Harry. How can I help you if you won't open up to me? It's too hard!" I exclaimed. 

"Please... just don't give up on me yet" he begged. 

"Harry I don't know what you expect me to do! I have never been in love, you thinking you were in love with Ava is closer than I have ever been. Harry I don't know what love is, I don't think I can help you" I said quietly.

"You don't know what love is?" he asked and I shook my head.

"Well then let’s find out together" he said before he attached his lips feverously to mine.

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So we finally got to the teach me bit.

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-Steph xx <3