Secretly Into You (COMPLETED)

Chapter 26

Hindi ko inakala na sa kakaiyak ko ay nakatulog ako habang kayakap si Tommy. Nagising nalang ako dahil naramdaman kong nagugutom ako.

Hindi pa pala ako kumakain simula kagabi.

Napalingon ako sa alarm clock ko at nakitang 11:21 na pala sa umaga.

Fuck! I skip a class again.

Nagbuntong hininga ako at pinilit na wag patuluin ang mga luha sa mata ko. I can still feel the pain. It's still clear.

Biglang bumukas ang pinto ng kwarto ko at niluwa nito si Dad na may dalang basong tubig.

"Anak.." He said while giving me the water. Umupo sya sa kama ko at nag buntong hininga.

"I know you're hurt, just don't give up okay? You will get through of this." Pag momotivate ni Dad.

I smiled a little bit. "Thanks Dad."

"I guess nagugutom ka na ngayon, kain ka na sa baba, may bago akong niluto." I just nodded on what's Dad said. "Bababa na ako," He added.

"Yes Dad, thanks." I said. Lumabas na si Dad kaya pumunta nalang ako sa banyo upang mag hilamos.

I look up to the mirror, it was clouded with mist. I wiped my hands and then I see the reflection.

Namumugto yung ilalim ng mata ko. At napaka blue ng ambiance ng mukha ko. Ang pangit ko na.

Pero sino nga ba ang brokenhearted na maganda? And now I felt Bella on Camp Sawi when she asked "Sinong brokenhearted na maganda, papatayin ko."

After I took a toothbrush and washed my face, I go down at pumunta sa kusina para kumain.

Nadatnan ko si Dad na hinainan ako ng pagkain. When he noticed my presence, he smiled. "Halika 'nak, kailangan mong kumain." I nodded at umupo na.

I started eating pero parang bawat nguya ko sa pagkain, nawawalan ako ng gana.

The scene was still vivid on my mind and the pain was still there. He's my first love, my first crush and my first boyfriend kaya normal naman siguro na maging ganito ako diba?

But I don't care what you've thinking about me, you don't know how hurt it is. Lalo na't ginawa mo naman lahat sa relasyon nyo.

Pero wala e, hindi nag work. Kapag hindi talaga kayo para sa isa't isa hiwalayan parin ang patutunguhan nyo kahit na ginawa mo ang lahat.

"I'm done.." Sabi ko at iniwan ang kalahating pagkain na natira. Hindi naman sa hindi ko gusto ang pagkain, nawalan lang talaga ako ng gana kumain.

"Nak, are you going to school this afternoon? Mas mainam na wag ka munang pumasok, you're still on pain, I can see it." Sabi ni Dad.

I look at him and immediately hugged him. Atleast my dad knows and understand the pain inside me.

"Thanks dad and I'm sorry.." I whispered. I want to cry but there's no tears left to cry. Parang nawalan na ako ng luha.

Dad tapped softly my hair and hugged me back. "Shh, I understand anak, it's just a part in life to lose someone you loved, pero dapat magpakatatag ka lang, okay baby?"

I smiled slightly. "Don't call me baby 'Dad." I said at humiwalay na sa yakap.

"You're smiling oh." He said and smiled at me.

I just hugged him again. "I'm going to attend my class this afternoon dad, may quiz kasi kami ngayon." I said.

"Sige just take a nap muna sa taas, I'll wake you up." Dad said.

"Thanks Dad."

Pumunta na ako sa kwarto ko and force my self to sleep. Pero parang ayaw makisama ng katawan ko.

I just took my phone but I get broked when I saw the lockscreen on it. It was me and Cleo. I just smiled bitterly.

Atleast I let him free diba? We will not hurt ourselves anymore.

I changed my lockscreen and wallpaper to another photo. I didn't delete our pictures, I just moved it on another folder.

Nahihirapan kasi akong i delete ito.

Pero habang nilalagay ko sa folder ang mga picture namin, I felt my broken heart tear into pieces again. The way I saw our smiles, happiness and love on that photo, It give me an urge to make the time backward.

Kung pwede lang sana matagal ko na iyong ginawa.

After I finished to moved our pictures, I decided to change my curtain on my window. Ganito ako palagi kapag nag su-suffer ako sa sakit emotionally.

Like kapag down na down na ako o may problema, I always changed my curtains because I felt relief after I see a new fabric on my window.

After that, I still can't sleep kaya nagpasya nalang akong maligo para pumasok na sa paaralan.

Kahit napabigat ng damdamin ko, I still manage to make my self up.

After I took a bath, I confront my mirror and start putting some make-ups on my face.

Halos maubos na ang concealer ko sa pagtago ng eyebags ko pero na satisfy naman ako sa resulta. I still look blooming but not the same as usual.

Parang kapag nakita mo ako ngayon, you can sense the sadness behind this make-up. You know what I mean.

"Cheer up Stacey, It's just a process.." Napatango-tango ako habang chine-cheer ko ang sarili ko.

Bumaba ako at sinabi kay Dad na di ako makatulog kaya papasok na ako. Hinatid ako ni Dad papunta sa University gamit ang sasakyan nito.

"Bye Dad." I said and kissed him.

Pumasok na ako sa loob, nakikita kong pinagtitinginan ako ng mga tao dito. Maybe they recognize me na ako yung tumatakbo habang umiiyak.

Parang gusto kong matawa sa iniisip ko.

I just smiled at them.

Pumunta ako sa room at unang hinanap ko ay si Cleo. At hindi ako nagkamali, he's here. Napatingin sya sa akin at sa mga mata nya ay makikita mong parang gusto nya akong lapitan.

No Stacey, hindi kana marupok.

Umupo nalang ako sa upuan ko pagkatapos iwasan ang mga titig nya. "Hey, bakit hindi ka pumasok kanina?" Tanong ng katabi ko.

"Just private matters." I smiled.

Dumating na ang prof namin at nag start na itong magbigay ng quiz papers.

Hindi naman ako nahirapan na sagutan lahat ng iyon dahil hindi naman talaga mahirap.

As expected, ako ang unang natapos, pinasa ko na agad ito sa prof at lumabas para bumili ng pagkain sa cafeteria.

Pumila ako at bumili ng donut at lemon juice bago ako umupo sa mga tables dito.

"Hey." Napatingin ako sa lalaking nakatayo sa harapan ko. I felt I was going to cry when I saw his face.

"Tama na Cleo..." I almost whispered.

"No, Im not gonna do anything, Can I sit first?" I just nodded out of my league.

Umupo naman sya at tinignan ako sa mata. Nakita kong nagmumugto rin ang mga mata nya at ang mga kamay nya ay may mga sugat.

"I know you want to break up with me B, I-I respect your decision." He looked away nang mamula ang mga mata nito. "I just wanna say that I'm going to states tomorrow at dun na manirahan, I just wanna clear up things with you."

"I know your hurt because of me, I-it's just  can we still be bestfriend like what we used to be? I can't afford to lose my girlfriend but I really can't afford to lose also my bestfriend?" He said. Para akong natulala sa mga sinabi nya. Natulala talaga.

W-what? Pupunta sya ng states?

I felt my tears gonna flow but I manage not to cry in front of him.

"I-Im sorry F if I did cut the strings between is, I know that your favor was too hard pero I can't afford also to lose my bestfriend. And yes, we can still be, but frankly F, Parang hindi na tayo magiging ganun ngayon. I still love you pero mas mainam na sigurong maging kaibigan nalang tayo.." I said.

Hinawakan ni Cleo ang kamay ko. Now he's crying in front of me. "Thank you B, I will never forget you...goodbye my bestfriend." Then he slowly remove his hands on me.

Sa pagtalikod nya, dun narin bumagsak ang mga luha ko. Now it's over. There will be nothing between us but as a bestfriends only.

I will never gonna forget you also Cleo...

Goodbye my first love and my...bestfriend.


-----------