Whatever

N.R.L.

I'm not really good with names
Never have been
Because of my adhd
It may take me a while to remember your name
And if you are the friend of a friend at a party
and we never meet again
Rest assured
Your name will be forgotten
Though his name I will never forget
At the peak of my awkward sexual awakening
He took advantage of my anxiety
Of my insecurities
And used them as cards in his deck
To be honest he had a really good hand
If he was playing "break a girl"
Because that's all I was
A young girl who'd just started out high school
Being taken advantage of my some moron
Who back then had doubled 9th grade
The same grade he was in when he dropped out
This year
N.R.L.
You sick bastard
Not only did you hurt me
But every other vulnerable girl around you
I'll never be able to be naïve again
But that's a blessing
Not from you
But from myself
As look in the mirror and am reminded of my strength
None of this was thanks to you
Except maybe the commitment issues
Nah, scratch that
That's the daddy issues
Not that you shouldn't be held accountable for your actions
But I'll let you be guilty
Because once you'll become a man
Someday
You'll regret all of it
And I'll be on top of the world
With my wife
Or husband
And my one gorgeous daughter
Being raised to be strong and true to her soul & self
Whilst you'll be drowning in debt and despair
In run down studio appartement
With two druggies as roommates
Barely able to pay rent
Because intravenous drugs will take over
Regretting the things you never did
And the things you did do.
I don't wish that upon anyone
Including you
But your history speaks for your futur
And though I'll have forgiven you but then
I won't give you money
Or a stable job
I'll teach you like you taught me
With
"Tough love"
Sometimes, your medicine is the best & only cure