Liar liar pants on fire

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I remember back when I was a kid, I used to be able to lie my ass off about everything and NEVER get caught. I used to be a little psychopath that felt no remorse or guilt about it too. I was crazy little compulsive liar to get attention, but here I am today barely able to pretend I'm sick for work when in reality my anxious just bad and I can't deal with shit customers. That should in theory count as a sick day, but here I am feeling guilty 3 months later, still over tipping and doing a bunch of good gestures to overcompensate. What-the-hell?!  I miss that crazy baby demon motherfucker. Where'd she go?! Did the gay whisk it away? I'm afraid my pansexuality has given me (god forbid) remorse! Oh the things I'd do not to have a moral compass and guilt inducing anxiety.

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