to be or not to be

FIVE

+05

"hyung you need to stop moping around and be happy." the younger male told me.

"jimin you never been married so you wouldn't know what it's like to be depressed all the time."

he walked over to me with buttered popcorn and plopped down next to me. "when is your next counseling visit?"

i really didn't want to think of that right now. after sitting down with aaliyah a few days ago i'm not as mad as before but she still didn't come back home.

"next week monday." i took some popcorn and shoved it in my mouth while watching the comedy. usually popcorn wasn't a choice i'd pick to eat because of the kernels but since its buttered im willing to take the risk.

"you know hyung, you guys can try to rekindle the marriage without the help of the counselor." jimin pointed out matter of factly.

"duh jimin, it's not like we haven't already tried. once we start to get along, something from the past pop up and we start breaking shit and arguing."

he paused the movie and looked at me. "what did you do?" he questioned. "aaliyah isn't the type to do some fucked up shit. what did you do to her?"

i scoffed at how he immediately thought that i did something. "damn, where the hell did the trust between us two go?"

"because i know you, did you cheat?"

i groaned and faced the other way for a quick second. i hated bringing this up but i think this is what caused our marriage to go bad.

"...i didn't cheat on her but i thought of cheating. i was drunk alright? i wasn't aware of what i said to her over the phone."

jimin placed the popcorn down. "what? you told aaliyah that you wanted to cheat on her? with who?!don't you realize that the truth comes out when you're drunk then when you're sober?"

"i know, i know and i fucked up! it was a lot of temptation during that time and this woman was throwing herself at me. aaliyah and i were on a short break."

"a short break you dumbass! you guys weren't fully broken up though joon!" i jolted up and glared at jimin.

"why are you coming at me?" jimin threw his sock at me. i noticed that he was mad at me and i couldn't blame him.

"because she's the best thing that has ever happened to you. why did you even think about hurting her like that? and you never told me who you were going to cheat with."

"my ex." jimin then threw a pillow at me. he was fuming.

"the same ex who tried her hardest to ruin your relationship with aaliyah in the first place?! are you fucking crazy?!"

maybe i am crazy, i don't even know.

"did you tell aaliyah?"

"of course not! if she finds out that it was her i almost got caught up with she'd never forgive me and that's something i'm taking to the grave."

but in the back of my mind i couldn't help but think what would happen if she found out.