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"you didn't just break my heart, you broke our future."
lu's late night bar| 11:30pm
*flashback*
"one martini coming right up!" the bartender gave me the drink and i grabbed the shot, taking the liquor in one take.
"hey joon busy day at work or is your ole girl giving you a hard time again?" jai, my favorite bartender and friend asked.
"you know me so well man, my wife just hates me." i told him laughing. he shook his head and chuckled.
"i went to school with her, she's a pretty cool chick. yall were trying for a baby again?" he questioned.
"nah man, turns out she's infertile. we can't have any kids." while he was cleaning the small shot glasses, jai stopped and poured another drink.
"damn man i didn't mean to be so nosy, i hope everything works out for yall in god's favor."
i watched him slide the glass to me across the surface and this time he poured more alcohol. you're usually not supposed to mix your drinks but fuck it. i don't give a fuck right now. i never did to begin with.
aaliyah and i broke up once again for petty reasons and i said some things to her that i shouldn't have said but it happened.
she cried, broke my playstation and left. i haven't heard from her in eight hours. this was our new routine every week and to be honest i'm getting tired of this shit.
it becomes overwhelming when you come to an unhappy home after work. a lot of our arguments stems from our past while we were boyfriend and girlfriend. we still have some unresolved resentment towards one another and when we fight all the past bullshit comes up.
we promised each other that we'd never go back to the past but i guess it will never leave us.
recently, aaliyah and i have been trying for a kid for about a year and we never had any luck. i thought that my sperm count was low but it couldn't have been because i barely drank unless needed and i wasn't much of a smoker.
when we went to the doctors for a checkup, we found out that aaliyah is infertile and the chances of her having kids is really really slim.
of course we're sad about the whole situation but thinking back to it now i'm glad that we don't have any kids. i wouldn't want my baby witnessing any of this.
"jai, pass me all the specials. i'm trying to get fucked up." he watched me worriedly and hesitated.
"you sure man? that hangover is going to be massive." i closed my eyes and rubbed them.
"yeah, give 'em here." one by one he passed different concoctions and i drank all as i fast as i could.
i just needed to clear my mind before going back to hating my life. nothing was hitting me yet and i placed my head down.
"hey! pass me the bacardi." a petite woman was sitting next to me and i observed her movements until i really took a good look at her physical features.
"aimee?" she gasped and smiled at me. i haven't seen her until after aaliyah and i got married.
aimee was my first love. we met freshmen year of high school and we became inseparable after that. we lasted so long until our senior year of college. we did everything together and because of her, she shaped a part of who i am. she cheated on me with some mixed race jock and ever since then i became self conscious and less social.
i blamed myself for everything because how did i let her get out of my grasp? we barely argued and we had so much in common. once i got with aaliyah, aimee did everything she could to get me back but i was too in love with someone else.
"joon, its been awhile." she pushed her chair to face me and she touched my face.
"i haven't seen you in a long long time. how are you?" i didn't want to lie because she knew me better than i knew myself so there was no point.
"i'm tired." i chuckled. aimee hummed and took a sip of her drink.
"she's giving you a hard time?" i nodded and i couldn't help but tell her everything.
after i finished, i felt my body go through this wave of emotions and suddenly i knew that the drinks finally got to me.
aimee kept staring at me and she bit her lips time to time. i pulled her closer to me, closing the gap that was between us. if i was sober enough to care i wouldn't have done this. i would've kept my distance from her.
"if you're gonna kiss me you better tell your wife first." she joked.
"alright." i pulled out my phone and accidently called my cousin a few times. once i found aaliyah's number i called her and waited for her to answer.
wifey🤎✨ "namjoon what is it? i don't want to talk to you."
me "i'm tired of you and your whining. all you do is complain and you never know how i feel."
wifey🤎✨ "then why the fuck are you still with me?"
me "i don't know, maybe because i still love you, but it doesn't matter anymore since i'm going to cheat on you. bye."
