to be or not to be

TEN

+10

"dean put me down!" i screamed. dean laughed and gently placed my feet back down on the floor.

"i missed you, can't i spin you around and hug you? jeez." dean grabbed his joint from the empty ash tray and lit the end of it.

i watched dean take the first hit and his body reacted almost immediately. he sat down and let his body in sink in the couch.

"how's everything with you and your husband?" he questioned. dean turned to me and rubbed my knee.

"we're good, we're just taking everything one step at a time."

"are you guys finally sleeping in the same room?" dean inhaled the fumes and exhaled it back out.

"no actually, we're not. i guess the both of us is just trying to take precautions."

dean hummed and took another hit. "the counselor said to communicate, not hide from each other. if you guys don't face your fears together then what's the point of being in the relationship?"

i suppose dean was right. namjoon and i tried our best to stay away from each other to prevent any quarrel from occurring. we kiss now and hug time to time but that was about it when it came to skinship. communication is still a little rocky because let's face it, we barely tell each other where we go or who we're with when none of us see each other for a long period of time.

its not like we have to tell each other every single time but i guess it shows that we still care about each other's whereabouts.

"what about you and your girlfriend? how's life going for you two?"

"y'know, it's one of those relationships where you know it isn't meant to be but we always find our way back to each other. sooner or later we'll both get our hearts broken because of the toxicity but i try not to think about it."

his relationship reminds me of my own and that's probably why i can relate to dean so much on a lot of things.

"have you guys tried seeing other people?"

"we've broken up so much to the point where its like let's not break up again. if we get mad at each other let's just solve it willingly and headstrong. but we act exactly alike so sometimes when we act on impulsive the arguments gets dangerous."

dean placed his joint back on the ash tray and rubbed the excess off of his fingers.

"does your husband know about us?"

"he doesn't and he never asked me if i made any new friends since our separation."

"does he really have to ask or you just don't want him to know?"

"i don't care if he finds out, it's not like we did anything wrong."

dean chuckled and closed his eyes. "how do you know that we didn't do anything wrong? do you know if we will in the future?"

i looked at my friend confused and hit his arm. "what are you implying dean?"

"i'm not implying nothing aaliyah. we're just two vulnerable people in fucked up relationships. anything can happen."