Heartbeats (Molten X Lefty)

(Ch. 19) New

'Things were starting to look good again.'

~Lefty's POV~

Red and his friends have come to visit us every week for the past 8 months. Well, 7 and a half months. I've lost track of time at this point, I don't care how accurate it is. 

I sighed, walking along the sidewalk as I headed home. I'd tried to stop harming myself, but it's addicting. Helpy's been better though, which I'm thankful for. He hasn't tried anything, at least that I know of. He hates when I question him about his personal life. The only thing he's told me in the past year is how he stopped talking to Bon-Bon awhile back. Why? I don't have a clue. I started mumbling lyrics to the song playing through my headphones.

"Why can't I get out? Why am I still here? Why can't I move on? What do I still fear? Why can't I get out? Why am I still here? Why am I still here?" I paused before repeating the bridge, going on to rest after.

"I know I swore that this was the last time, the Madness never ends up in my mind..
I made a list, it makes me sick, and I can't leave 'til it's done..
I patiently await the day to pack my bags and run..
On and on, I can never escape my fate, no I'm never getting out,
I know that this won't be my last time,
I'm loosing sight.." I finished.

The more I think about it, I can relate to that song. Why can't I get out? I'm stuck. Why am I still here? I could've left already. Why can't I move on? I don't know, he's still dead. What do I still fear? Everything. The chorus too. I told myself I'd stop the pain after Helpy attempted suicide, but I couldn't. List? I made one of those. It had things to do to be happier. Yeah, how'd that work? Threw it out after a week. The rest of it doesn't really fit until the last line. I've lost sight of all the good in the world. I thought things were getting better, but I was wrong. Nothing bad has happened, but I've just been falling endlessly into a void of every negative emotion possible. 

Nothing ever works. Nothing goes right, at least for me. For Helpy, yes. Things have turned around for him. Sure, he lost connection with his best friend, but he's got someone else now. I haven't taken the time to get to know them yet. Hell, I don't know their gender or name. Looks to be Helpy's age though, if not older. I have no idea where they come from or even if they're dangerous. It's not my business anyways.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as I walked into the front door of my house. I rubbed my head as I opened it, walking inside.

"I'm home." I shut the door.

"Hey!" Helpy called from the kitchen. I looked over to see he was making something with his friend, who was just standing there clueless. 

"Oh, hello." His friend looked at me and smiled.

"I haven't properly introduced you two yet.. Oh well! Lefty, this is Plush. Plush, Lefty." Helpy grinned. 

"Nice to meet you, Plush." I slightly smiled. I solved the gender debate against myself, settling for male.

"Same to you!" Plush held his hand out. I shook it, thinking. 

Definitely male.

"Are you going to be staying here?" I questioned.

"I was gonna ask you about that.. Can he?" Helpy gave me a puppy-eyes look. 

"Why do you ask me? It's your house as much as it is mine." I glared at him.

"Just making sure!" He smiled before turning to Plush.

"Thank you." Plush smiled. 

"If you need anything, you know where I'll be.." I walked off to my room. I locked the door and threw myself onto my bed, shutting my eyes. Yes, the empty one opens and closes. It's disturbing, at least in my opinion it is.

I opened my eyes shortly after, hearing something loud crash outside. I got up and left my room, heading towards the front door. I opened it and looked around outside before being shoved out. The door locked behind me. I stood up and looked back to see Helpy through the window, waving at me. I groaned.

"The hell is he doing.." I muttered before walking away. "Guess I'm going on another walk." 

I sighed, heading towards the park. I didn't know where else to go. Besides, I hadn't been there in a while. Maybe a month or so. I don't know. When I got there, I sat on a swing, glancing at the one beside me. I should be over him by now, but I'm not. I can't. He's always in my mind. It's like I'm cursed to be stuck on him. I want it to stop. I hate thinking about him. I can't ever feel happy.

I snapped my head towards the sound of movement coming from the woods. I had bad memories of it, but my dumb self wanted to investigate anyways.

"It's probably just some wildlife.." I mumbled, walking past a bush that marked the edge. I had no control over my body at this point. I went farther in, ignoring the fact that this was where he died. I tried turning myself around, but it didn't work. I wouldn't listen to myself. That is, until I stepped into a field. 

"Has this always been here..?" I asked myself. 

I looked around the field, seeing flowers everywhere. It was pretty. 

"I guess so." I finally answered myself. "Flowers take time to grow, these wouldn't be here if this just appeared out of nowhere." I sat down on my knees, plucking a red flower from its place in the grass. 

"That's just what you think." A familiar voice said in front of me. I looked up, realizing who the voice belonged to. 

"Molten..?" I stood up faster than I ever have before. He just smiled. I felt tears run down my face as I hugged him. "How are you alive?" 

He didn't respond. He pulled away. I looked at him, concerned.

"Everything okay..?" I asked. He just stared at me, smiling, before shaking his head as if telling me to not worry. I hugged him again, smiling.

He was back. I felt happy for once. For the first time in a year.

And then I woke up.

>:)  

couldnt find a fitting image so just have this random one i found.