Heartbeats (Molten X Lefty)

(Ch. 15) Shattered

'I felt my heart shatter'

~Lefty's POV~

The paper fell out of my hands as I dropped to my knees. I didn't want to believe it, but I had a feeling it was true. I didn't speak, even when Helpy returned.

"I couldn't find anything.." He must've noticed my tears as they rushed down my cheeks. "Guess I can't leave you alone again.." He sat down next to me and side-hugged me. I didn't respond in any way. I couldn't.

"Lefty..?" Helpy continued. "Are you okay..?"

I shakily pointed to the note on the ground in front of me. Helpy picked it up and started reading.

"'Bet you're wondering where he went huh? Well guess what? He's..'" Helpy paused, tears welling up in his eyes. "'Dead..I killed him..Signed, Stranger...'"

Hearing it out loud must've triggered something. I cried out to nobody in particular. I felt empty. Numb. Cold. Alone. Helpy fell silent. From the corner of my eye, I saw his tears.

What did he ever do..? Who did this..? Why..? The same questions floated around my mind as I struggled to stand. I felt so weak, like I could just break at any moment. Helpy supported me as I wobbled out of the woods, the silence remaining.

When we made it home, I collapsed on my bed and cried into my pillow. Helpy sat beside me, rubbing my back. I couldn't stop crying. Memories flooded my brain, which added to my currently deteriorating mental state. I didn't understand.

He's gone.

The thought hit harder every time it decided to show itself. I never should've let him go. Is this karma? For what? What have I done wrong?

I shoved my thoughts aside as I tried to steady my breathing, which wasn't working. Never in 18 years have I cried this much. Ever. I hated this. I wanted it to end.

I wanted to disappear.

The thought didn't sound to bad at the moment. I could easily go get something. A knife.. Rope.. Poison..

Lefty, stop it. You need to be here. For Helpy.

I realized my inner voice was right. I can't leave him here alone, not while Red's away at least. Maybe when he comes home I will-

No.

I cut my thoughts off there. I managed to sit up, but just barely. I hugged Helpy as tight as I could without killing him. That's the last thing I need. He let out all the tears he'd been holding back as he returned my hug. Helpy's quiet sobs only made me feel more broken, but I had to act otherwise.

Get over it.. Life happens.. It was gonna happen one day.. Better now rather than later..

I rubbed Helpy's back as he cried harder. It took a lot not to join him, but I had to be like this for his sake.

He looked up at me, wiping his eyes.

"L-Lefty..? Are you o-okay..?" He hugged me tighter.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I lied, rubbing my eyes. Well, eye and a socket. For whatever reason, I still cry from that eye. It wasn't even there, so, how?

This isn't the time for theories..

"Y-You're lying.. I can tell.." Helpy pulled away from the hug and just looked at me.

"I'm not fine. I feel like my heart's been stabbed a million times over. I'm in pain, yet numb at the same time. I don't understand.." I started crying again.

"H-Hey, I-It's gonna be alright.." Helpy hugged me again.

I meant it when I said I hated this.

~Time Skip- 4 Months~

~Lefty's POV~

"I'll be back later, okay Helpy?" I glanced at him as he was laying on the couch.

"Mhm...Be careful out there.." He smiled up at me. I smiled back before walking out the front door. Where was I headed? Probably a bar or something.

I've gone down a dark path that I'm afraid I can't recover from. My life has turned to complete hell. Everything has gone downhill since Molten died. I can't go a day without remembering him and wanting him back. It wasn't fair.

Eventually, I made it to a bar, except I didn't go inside. I went around it and down an alleyway. I came here a lot, for only one reason.

"We meet again.." I said, picking up a bloodstained knife. I had left this here so Helpy wouldn't somehow find it. I don't know how he'd react, and I didn't want to find out.

I sighed as I rolled up my sleeves, looking at my already scarred forearms. I've been here a lot. Like, everyday a lot. I pressed the cold metal against a clear spot. In one swift movement, blood dripped to the ground. I smiled as I watched it. Something about the pain took my mind off the despair consuming me. It almost made me feel better. Except, it didn't. It merely distracted me. It couldn't take away my sadness. Nothing could. Only one person had done it. Guess where he is? That's right..

"He isn't coming back." I mumbled to myself, slicing the blade against my other arm. It stung, but I hardly noticed. I set the knife back where I found it and pulled a towel out of the same spot, also stained with my blood. I pressed it against my left arm, wincing slightly. When the bleeding stopped, I switched to the other, setting it back in place when I finished. I pulled my sleeves back down and checked my phone, looking at the time. 

"Noon, not bad." I tucked my phone into my pocket and started walking home. I took a few detours along the way for no reason whatsoever. I liked walking. It helps me calm down after such..excitement. I already missed the feeling of blood running down my arms. It's soothing. Almost like a music box, but the music is my mind screaming at me to stop. I never listened, and I doubt I ever will. I've turned cold again. Reverted back to how I was before I met Molten. A loner. Someone without a purpose. I sighed, opening the door as I arrived home.

"Helpy, I'm h-" 

I froze at what I saw.

i hate myself for drawing this picture. one, it sucks. two, its sad ;-;

Lefty what am I doing to you ;-; my poor bean.

also, have another cliffhanger