Opposites Attract | Wroetoshaw/Sidemen

2

My life was over. Everyone turned to face me as I just stared in horror. Never in my life had I imagined she would do that to me. I trusted her with all I had. That tie had been cut so fast I couldn't even look at her. I wanted to shout at her with all I had, telling her everything I thought about her, what she'd done to herself, but I couldn't bring myself to. I was speechless. Nearly emotionless.
Fast forward nine years and I'm still at rock bottom. Never trusted anyone again. She broke me.

I've been homeless for as long as I could remember. When I was only five years old I was sent to a private school and instantly forgot about my family. I don't even remember what they look like, only the vague imagine of hair colours come to mind.
There's not much to miss about my parents though, they neglected me my whole life, the only words I remember them saying to me being;
"We wish you were a boy."
They didn't want me for who I was. A free spirit. They wanted a boy who one day grow up to be a doctor or a lawyer or some shit. I didn't want to be one of them, I wanted to see where life leads me, and they sent me away.

"See where that journey takes you," They spat at me the day I was sent to private school, shoving me in the taxi and not even saying goodbye. I tried my best to hold back my fear, my tears, and began to sort my life out at the age of five.

That's probably where most of my trust issues sprung from. Neglected at the soonest possible age. Unwanted. Useless.

I laughed. I was beginning to remember the other few words my parents ever said to me.

I remembered my brother. I nearly forgot I had one. He was four years older than me. So when I was five he was nine, but it was like he was so much older. He was my parent in a way, looking out for me much more than anyone else did. Of course my parents favoured him. He was perfect. Was destined to be. Was the star of the show. I despised him as much as I loved him. I haven't seen him in 18 years. 18 bloody years without my parents and brother. I couldn't even cry at this point. I had no tears left.

I was beginning to get flashbacks of when I would ask to play with my brother, him reply with a smile and say sure. We would play for hours, until I was told I wasn't to play with him as I might affect his learning and personality might be twisted with my stupid mind. They didn't want me mixing with him, but I did and I don't regret it the punishments I received. He snuck me biscuits and sweets, toys and games. I don't think I would have survived without him.
Guess I did have a few more tears left.

I watched as they splattered onto the stone step, the rain also splattering in front of me, the abandoned store I was living outside of had a small porch and that was my living space. It wasn't as bad as other homeless people living in London. Some didn't have a roof. I was quite lucky to have found this spot.

When I would have to go to school, there was this one lady, maybe in her sixties, who knew I was struggling and helped me find this spot. We grew quite close and I'm thankful for her every single day of my life. Homeless people are sort of a community, we help each other out to survive. I'm grateful to still be here. When I first became homeless after I was kicked from my parents home, I had nothing. I managed to get a few sweets from my brother and It didn't last long. The lady showed and taught me how to trade, trade in things like socks for essentials like sleeping bags.
It wasn't much but I managed. I thank her every day of my life.
I wonder where she is now?

All I ever wanted was a family. A friend. Real ones I could trust with my life. No one came near me anymore, probably smelling the odour and pinning that as being a bad person. So many people were quick to judge.
I did get the occasional person to put out change in front of me. I would give them a small smile but then light up red as I could tell what they were thinking.

"What did this girl do to her life?"
"Probably threw it down the drain."
"She has no hope left."
"Poor girl."

It angered me to watch their faces change in expression when they saw my young self. They had know right to jump to conclusions without knowing what really happened to me. I always wanted to scream in their faces the truth, but then no one would dare come near me. Like I was a vicious animal at a zoo.

I couldn't bare to look at anyone, and no one looked at me. Just quickly dropped the change and sped off with their mountains of shopping.

Made you realise how selfish some people were when you were in the position. I sighed.

I realised I needed help when I stared down at my food supply to see only one sandwich left. I wasn't going to last long.