Misleading- Ashton Irwin Fanfic

Chapter 19

I visited Ashton in the hospital. Every day since 3 days ago, after Sophie left. I was on my way now, actually. I had a cappuccino for him with an extra shot of caffeine. My baby was only one floor away from me. The warm cappuccino almost burnt the palm of my hand as I waited patiently to the strum of the empty elevator music. I heard a ding and I walked out of the elevator and went down to Ashton's room.

There I saw my baby, sleeping, for it was only 9. But he wanted me to be his alarm clock. His blonde brown hair was sprawled in every direction on the white hospital pillow. He was adorable and I love him. Calum was to visit later tonight because he was out with his sister, Mila. I've met her before and she's a pure sweetheart. Calum is actually sassier than his sister, which is odd. I could walk, finally with pain medication.

"Morning Ashton", I said, nudging his shoulders. I planted a kiss on his lips. His eyes slowly winked open and I saw him smile. He sat up and I handed him the cappuccino. He kissed me.

"Morning my princess". He sat up completely, now. He was almost wide awake like he was fake sleeping so I'd kiss him.

"How have you been", I asked.

"Well..", He said, shuffling under the covers. "I gotta talk to you".

"Uh ok", I said.

"I saw that live stream with Sophie a couple days back.."

Fuck. He saw me. On a camera with Sophie and someone said I was ugly or something.

"Look , that guy was nothing it didn't aff-"

"No I mean", Ashton said, wiping his forehead, "you said that if you could kills yourself you would".

"Oh", I said.

"Babe, why?"

"Ashton I'm sorry it was really just a slip of words and I didn't-"

"Babe you looked straight into the camera and said it. It was no slip of words".

I started tearing up. My life's a disaster. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran into the hallway, and I ran into this random room. I saw a shelf full of pills and I looked at them. A handful of them and some water could take me to paradise... I grabbed a random little pocket full of pills and ran up to my hospital room. I locked myself into the hospital room and started crying.

This was it. I could finally be with my happiness. This worlds not meant for me. No one cares about me. No one will miss me, but Ashton maybe but he'll get over it. I sighed and took the pills out of my pocket. I almost debated myself whether I should or shouldn't. Then I looked up at the sky and swallowed them and flushed them down with a bottle of water.

As long as I'm awake, I mine as well write my note. I saw a pad and pen near me and started writing.

Mom,

Look, I'm sorry. You don't deserve me to die this way. A child shouldn't ever die before their mother. But all this had to be expected. If you hadn't noticed the fake smile I had adopted and the lines of marks on my right fore arm and wrists, then please notice them now. For it is too late and those were cries for help and you didn't answer my calls.

From your daughter,

Mia xo

I got a pen and paper again, and ripped out the note for my mom. I set that one aside.

Ashton,

Babe. I'm sorry. I'm watching down on you. I'm sorry but this world wasn't meant for me. Thank you and tell the boys they're amazing. I love you so much.

-Mia xo

-

Zachary,

Hey squirt. Sorry but I'm not supposed to be here.

-your sister who loves you,
Mia xo

I shoved the notes under my pillow and just closed my eyes.

"Goodnight", I whispered.