Leave A Little Later - Soon to be Published under PaperInk Publishing House

#LALLCHAPTER6

Reign

"Elle?"

My arms slowly slip off from him, it was so tight, I was intently gripping on his neck, pero ngayon mas gusto ko munang bumitaw mula sa mahigpit na pagkakahawak ko sa kaniya.

With how leisurely my arms were taken away from him, that's how my tears quickly flowed from my seemingly drunken eye.

When my intoxication disappeared from his soft caresses and mellow kisses, I gathered enough strength for myself to let go and dauntlessly walk away from him.

Dauntlessly walking away from the both of them.

Umalis ako nang walang paalam, naglalakad ako papalayo nang hindi man lang ngumiti.

Umalis ako na parang walang nangyari kanina.

Hindi ko naiintindihan kung ano 'yung nararamdaman ko.

Wala akong naiintindihan.

----

I found myself navigating the path of her grave. I'm sure that my footsteps want to take me here, but I was really uncertain for the reason.

I wiped my own tears, smiling in front of her, as if I didn't do something that might hurt her feelings.

Clariz F. Manansala

March 16, 1996 - August 2, 2018

"In Our Hearts Forever."

Nakapako lang ang mga titig ko sa kan'yang lapida. Kahit na pa malapit nang magtakip-silim at malapit nang lisanin ng araw ang liwanag.

Nanatili pa rin ako, pinipilit na intindihin ang sarili kahit ginagambala ako ng lamig ng hangin.

Bigla akong napahawak sa aking labi. Gano'n na ba 'ko ka-tanga?

Na nagbulag-bulagan pa 'ko at hindi ko binigyang atensyon ang mga maliliit na bagay na napansin ko noon.

"I'm sorry—" I cannot even compose a simple sentence dahil sobrang gulo rin ng nararamdaman ko at napupuno lamang ang paligid ng mga hikbi ko.

Walang tama sa mga ginawa ko.

I felt ashamed for myself and yet I did have some guts para humarap sa kaniya ngayon.

Way back then, the idea of being deceived by a person is already worse.

But being betrayed by someone you love is even worst.

That's why I always wondering, how come they go to sleep at night, knowing that they've let-down and fooled someone?

At ngayon, hindi ko na kailangan isipin kung bakit at paano

Because in just a few moments, I was able to betray someone I love.

Naupo ako sa damuhan at umaasa na naririnig ni Ate kung ano 'yung nasa puso ko, dahil hindi pa rin kayang ipaliwanag ng labi ko ang gustong sabihin nito.

Kinuha ko ang isang maliit na k'wardeno mula sa aking canvas bag, naka-ipit dito ang isang larawan namin ni Ate Riz no'ng mga bata pa lang kami.

Tears are forming again.

Napansin kong magdi-dilim na pala talaga, I stood up and fixed myself. My heavy footsteps were very hesitant to go home. I murmured "I'm sorry, Ate." once more as I faced the cool wind.

I sighed heavily and made my way out of the memorial.

Sa hindi kalayuan, nakita ko si Kuya Carlo na papasok naman.