oh worm? || bnha x reader

21. little cabbage

A/N - well what do you know, the first actual interaction chapter. it won't always be like this, since the section "textfic with little interaction" got the most comments. so yeah. enjoy!

it was 4:31 am. four in the fucking morning. what the hell, y/n, why the fuck are you still awake?

"spspsppspspsppsp," y/n sighed. they had went to bed at 10:30 pm, then woke up at 1 and had been awake ever since.

y/n thought out loud. "maybe i should text monomaniac or mama kendo or tetsu?"

they got out their phone and started spamming 👾 emojis into their private dms.

'STFU' from neito.

'y/n please go to bed.' from itsuka.

'read 4:33 am' from tetsutetsu.

so of course, like any normal person, they proceeded to spam all their group chats.

no responses. and just as y/n was about to lay down on the floor (#floorgang) and close their eyes, a loud ass knock was heard from outside.

"HOLY FUCKING SHI–" y/n literally flinched and jumped across the entire room.

"KNOCK KNOCK, LET US IN, BITCH!" a voice from outside yelled. it was definitely feminine, was it mina? shit no, that was uraraka.

"MY DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK?" y/n yelled back, opening the door.

not only was uraraka there, but also jiro, midoriya, and kirishima.

"bitch what the fuck are you guys doing here?" y/n said quickly.

jiro emerged from the dark (aw yiss, our edge queen) and said, "hoe, you were spamming the group chat and we just so happened to be doing an all-nighter, so we thought, wHy tHe fUcK nOt."

"well shit, then."

and so here we are now, 5 stupid teenagers doing stupid teenager things.

"hey, did you guys know that if you dare me to eat something, i'll eat it?" kirishima said, high off sleep deprivation.

"really?" midoriya said, eyes wide. "eat that styrofoam cup then." he pointed to a small cup that was conveniently sitting on y/n's desk.

"NOO DON'T EAT THAT! THAT'S THE HOLY CUP!" y/n shouted, probably waking half of UA.

"the what?" uraraka asked, confused.

"ooh story time!" y/n said then laughed maniacally. "okay so, me, tetsutetsu, monomaniac, kendo, awase, and shinsou were all playing mario kart here and the thing is we were playing rainbow road and-" they rambled on as the other four listened intently.

"-aND SHinsou was going to win but then tetsutetsu went in front of him, an' kendo and awase kept dying, and me an' monoma kept banana-peeling each other an' getting stuck, and then kendo finally stopped dying and went in second place behind tetsu, an' then tetsu threw the holy styrofoam cup at kendo to try to knock her off track, anD THEN THE CUP ACTUALLY LANDED ON HER BUTTONS WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST PAST HIM AND MADE HER GO zOoOm AND SHE GOT FIRST PLACE! sO yeah, that's the story of the holy styrofoam cup."

"wOAh. thAt-" kiri slurred. "that waS the besT sTOry eevveeRr!"

"rIgHt?!"

"yeah but we still need to dare kiri to eat something." jiro chimed in. (haven't you people ever heard of-?)

y/n laid down and rolled under their bed (what the actual fuck, izuku thought to himself).

in 3 seconds, they rolled back out, holding a little green thing made of felt.

"my dude," ochaco said, squinting. "what the hell is that?"

"petit chou!" y/n exclaimed.

the other four looked confused.

"sorry y/n, i don't speak croissant." izuku said.

"petit chou. it means little cabbage in french. it's a french pet name." y/n said, examining the little felt cabbage. "mY lItTlE cAbBaGe." they whispered creepily to themself.

"hey wait," kyoka tilted her head. "didn't pete wentz use that name for patrick stump?"

"oh yeah!" izuku said excitedly. "here, right?" he then said a picture out loud.

everyone froze.

"what?" izuku said innocently.

"did- did you just say a picture out loud?" kiri asked.

"well yeah, duh, it's fanfic logic."

"what?"

"what."

"wHat?"

"whAat?!"

"um," everyone sort of just sat there awkwardly.

"okAY NOW EAT THE CABBAGE!" kyoka yelled, stealing the ugly felt thing from y/n and shoving it in eijiro's mouth.

kiri ripped it apart and started to eat the felt.

"bon voyage, petit chou." y/n said, wiping away a fake tear.

and finally he swallowed it.

"eWww!" ochaco laughed.

"I WANT TO EAT SOMETHING THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EATEN!" y/n yelled.

"LET'S DRINK SHAMPOO!" kyoka exclaimed.

"YAYYY!!" the rest cheered.

and that's the story of how 5 stupid teenagers ended up passed out on the floor, shampoo all over the floor, 2 hours late to class. (and none of them had the common sense to call the poison control center after they started to feel sick.)

good luck explaining that to eraserhead and vlad king.

spspspsp so that's the chapter. let me know what you guys think! have a good day!